This Is What Emotional Numbness Really Feels Like — And How I Escaped It

“We all experience numbness when we’ve been in pain for too long because we’re simply too exhausted to process our own emotions anymore. But eventually, we feel again…the highs and the lows, the joys and the sorrows. If you’re a deep-feeler, nubness will always be a short reprieve. You cannot hold back an ocean.” — Ranata Suzuki

I have been in a state of emotional numbness( or Emotional Detachment) in a certain stage of my life.

It was not what I wanted for myself, but as life passed by, the hardships associated with it made me accept it as a kind of power — a power I possessed to escape from the overwhelming life events I was experiencing.

As time passed, I started to delve into it more deeply and began to feel like it was one of my strengths, but sadly, it is not.

This feeling leaves individuals feeling disconnected from both their inner emotions and the outside world; it’s like observing life through a fog, rather than living it. It is often triggered by conditions like depression, grief, anxiety, or trauma; it’s the brain’s protective “freeze” response to overwhelming emotional pain.

Classic signs include:

1. Feeling emotionally flat or robotic.
2. Disinterest in activities that once brought joy.
3. Sense of detachment from self and others.
4. Difficulty forming connections or maintaining relationships.
5. Withdrawal or social isolation.
6. Inability to feel sadness or enthusiasm.

For me, it was as if life was on autopilot, unable to connect with my feelings, my surroundings, or my loved ones, even as life moved on around me.

It helped me do the things I wanted to and was supposed to do without any pain or emotion, like a robot. It was as if my brain just froze when the emotional overload was unbearable.

Living through emotional numbness can be disorienting. You may do all the tasks — work, chores, socializing while feeling nothing. Hobbies feel empty, conversations feel distant, and even love feels muted. It’s like wearing an emotional blindfold.

During my journey through this, my partner’s love, understanding, and unintentional actions acted as a lifeline that helped me reconnect with my own life. It was not easy, but as time passed by, I recovered from it somehow completely. Here’s how she helped me heal:

1.Consistent Communication & Emotional Safety:

It was not easy for me to open up to my partner in the beginning stage of our relationship. Also, I was a person who used to give emotional support to people whenever they needed me, making it hard for me to share everything so easily, and being an introvert and an unexpressive person increased the difficulty.

But my partner, being curious about me, wanted to know why I am feeling the way I am.

This small act of sharing everything lightened me from being cold. It created a safe space between us where we could trust each other and share anything and everything.

My partner never failed to give me reassurances and ask the question that mattered to me most back then — “Are you okay?” This became a habit over time between both of us, and I started realizing that letting myself out was okay!
These consistent, genuine check-ins without pressure or judgment signaled one simple truth to me: I mattered.

2. Invisible Support:

My partner offered support that I could feel but seldom see — Encouragements, pushing me to do more, believing in me, forcing me to create new hobbies — these subtle things helped reduce my stress and build trust without making me feel incapable.
These gestures reinforced that she was there for me, even when I couldn’t reach back emotionally at times.

3.Shared Rituals:

We started many rituals together— Reading books, playing online games, watching YouTube and having discussions.

These mustered tiny emotional sparks in me — some laughter, tears, comfort. Over time, these tiny sparks helped rekindle emotional warmth.

4. Sense of purpose:

Amid the emotional numbness, I was in the middle of rediscovering myself, and I had lost any sense of purpose.

My partner acted as a mirror — I mattered to someone, and that gave my life meaning again. It helps me work harder towards my goals- for myself and for us, for a brighter and purposeful future together.

Parting Lines

Emotional numbness is not a personal failure. It’s a temporary refuge — one that becomes harmful over time. Though recovery involves therapy, mindfulness, and creative reconnection, the compassionate presence of a loved one, someone who holds space without judgment or giving up, can make the difference between lingering numbness and genuine rediscovery. Today, I feel more alive than I have in months, and credit the gentle support of my partner as a cornerstone of that healing.

–Anushka & Vishnu