The Father I Learned to Forgive

Forever Forward

In 2017, while sitting in a Love Beyond Walls meeting, I received several back-to-back phone calls from one of my older sisters, Tasha. When I didn’t pick up, she sent a text message I read her text over and over again, hoping that it did not say what I had just read. I stepped out of the meeting and called my sister back.

“I just received a phone call that said Tyrone has just had a stroke, and it is not looking good,” she said. “Tyrone was on the phone with one of his friends named Red, and Red believed that he was having a stroke right then.”

Tyrone, my father, was being rushed to the emergency room at Grady Hospital, the very same hospital where I was born. I felt sick and couldn’t catch my breath. My father and I had not spoken in over a year. Our family connection was in ruins. The news hurt me deeply.

On one hand, I was hurt that this was happening to my father, and I feared that he would pass away before he ever got a chance to know me and be proud of me, something every child longs for no matter their age. On the other hand, I had a lot of built-up pain from my childhood trauma that I was still working through. I was at a loss of knowing how to feel in that moment.

Questions flooded my mind: Will my father pass away before we ever get to repair our relationship? How do I show up for him? What do I do when the majority of our relationship has not been good with communication?

I honestly did not know what to do and felt emotionally frozen. While I continued to heal from my own social and personal trauma, this news added another layer that I was not prepared for. Words and clear thoughts escaped me when hearing this news.

When I received the news about my father, I had been leading Love Beyond Walls for about four years alongside Cecilia. I had been attending church for about a decade, developing my faith and serving a community of people who had been overlooked, as I had been.

I returned to the meeting and, without thinking, told everyone I would not be able to stay. I then walked outside to my car and began to sob. I sobbed because I did not want anything to happen to him, especially because at that moment our relationship wasn’t the best. My hands trembled, and it took me a while to start the car. When I finally did, I just started to drive. I had no destination in mind, but I knew I could not be around people. Tears streamed down my face while I felt confusion, anger, disbelief, and fear. I had a moment with God in that car and asked, “Why has my life been so hard, and why is there so much distance and pain in my family?”

That’s when I calmed down enough to call my wife. She answered the phone, and I shared the news with her. I asked her, “Cecilia, what should I do? I am afraid that my dad might pass away, and I do not know what to do.”

I wasn’t expecting her response. She said, “God changed your life, gave you a chance to impact total strangers who are suffering from homelessness. You need to go and serve your father in exactly the same way you serve those who you don’t even know through Love Beyond Walls. You need to show support in the same way the community showed you support and helped you to get where you needed to go. Be close.”

Hearing those words brought such a calm to my heart. I knew she was right.

When I walked into the ICU, my father’s body was paralyzed on the left side. He told me that the doctors had performed emergency brain surgery to break up a blood clot and attempted to remove it. Soon afterward, the doctor came into the room and told me that he believed my father would eventually regain his mobility.

During the time in the hospital, my younger sister Ashley and I sat with him, stayed overnight, and were just present with him as he continued to heal. That was tough, but as we talked briefly during my visits, I could tell this major health event was causing him to reflect on the fragility of life. There were even times when he would look at me, with tears in his eyes, and say, “T, I am so glad that you are here . . . thank you for being here . . . I am just glad I am alive to see you.”

Days later, when he was about to be discharged, my dad asked whether I would help him get his medication, drive him home, and help support him while he recovered. My wife’s encouragement to “just serve him too” inspired me to have the courage to serve him willingly. That would eventually lead to a divine moment that would turn out to be one of the greatest redemptive works outside my own personal journey of rebuilding my life.

Weeks after my father left the hospital, he began to gain mobility on his left side. He would call me almost every day, and we would just talk about nothing in particular. Just communicating with one another can be used by God for restoration and redemption. It felt strange at first to talk that often because we had been in and out of each other’s lives—not seeing each other as consistently as we had during Little League sports. Sometimes we spent more time together than others as I transitioned into young adulthood and eventually became a grown man. However, I could tell that something divine was happening in my father’s heart, and in mine. He began to talk about how he was starting to believe that God had spared his life so we could repair our relationship.

These conversations gave my dad a chance to apologize and get to know me more than I had experienced when I was a child, and it gave me the space to forgive. There were times when he would talk about the historical discrimination his community faced, the drugs that ravaged his childhood community, and how he internalized those experiences from the trauma that was created in the environment where he grew up in Washington, DC. The trauma inflicted by white supremacy in the 1950s and 1960s created harsh living conditions that impacted him in numerous ways and caused his environment to experience ruin—emotionally, spiritually, economically, and the many other violent ways that poverty destroys the potential of community and the lives of people.

His words gave me perspective on just how dangerous the effects of systemic injustice and generational trauma can be and how it can be passed down through generations. Hearing about his experiences allowed me to understand the pervasive influence of historical oppression on our family. His stories allowed me to see his humanity and just how much our community had suffered. Even though some of our talks were accompanied by tears—much-needed tears—each and every conversation would end with an “I love you.” Slowly, God began to repair our relationship.

As the pandemic continued into its second year, we had less time together, but through our conversations, I got a chance to really know my father more before our world was shaken in 2021, when my father was diagnosed with colon cancer. This was incredibly hard for both of us, but he trusted me to support him through his fight with the disease, just as I had done during his stroke. When I was in the hospital with him, months before he passed, he told me that one of the reasons he came to faith was because he watched how I was living my life, following Jesus, loving my wife and children, and continuing to show up and serve people through Love Beyond Walls. I have an audio recording of him saying these things, and I still listen to it and will until I am no longer able.

On January 24, 2024, my father took his last breath. I somehow found the courage to preach his eulogy, since he asked me to when he was in the hospital.

One of the last things my father told me before he passed away was that I should always have a “forever forward” mentality. That, to me, is a perfect example of who he was. He was a creative, a leader, a trauma survivor, an innovator, and a business owner. He was also an entrepreneur with a magnetic personality. He took his limited resources, without a lot of community support, and always looked forward. I honor all parts of my father because I grew to realized that the moments that make us not as great as we should be are what make us human and worthy of God’s love.

Adapted from From Dropout to Doctorate by Terence Lester. ©2025 by Terence Lester. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press. www.ivpress.com. 

“The author’s message is potent and timely… this is a vital call to reform a broken system.” – Publishers Weekly Review, June 2025

“Dr. Lester has gifted us this book for this moment and for our posterity. He shares searing personal stories of tragedy and hardship that moves the crisis in our educational system beyond statistics and into the realm of human impact. . . . He adds academic ballast to his intimate narrative, so we come to understand not simply his individual story, but the historic and systemic forces at work that affect millions today.” – Jemar Tisby, from the foreword

Inspiring the Next Generation to Advocate for Educational Equity

Terence Lester was born into a two-parent household that later separated due to family conflict. In search of safety and stability, his mother moved him and his sister from place to place. Carrying the weight of that early trauma, Lester turned to gangs, became a juvenile delinquent, experienced homelessness, and at one point lived out of his car. He dropped out of high school.

But Lester’s story doesn’t end there. He eventually returned to school, graduated as a fifth-year senior, and defied the odds by earning five degrees, including a PhD in public policy. What made the difference?

In From Dropout to Doctorate, Lester unveils the realities of educational injustice and the profound impact of unjust policies and systems on Black communities. He shows how poverty disrupts the lives of Black families, leading to homelessness and perpetuating the school-to-prison pipeline.

A Powerful Personal Story

Drawing from his own personal narrative and scholarly research, Lester names the complex challenges faced by Black children in underresourced and socially dense environments. As a public scholar and nonprofit leader, he advocates for equitable access to advanced education and addresses the systemic barriers that limit opportunities for Black people.

An Advocate’s Voice for Change

Through his personal experiences, Lester calls on educators, nonprofit leaders, and community influencers to confront educational inequity and inspire systemic change. His advocacy encourages readers to envision a world rooted in justice and inclusivity. Offering remedies of community involvement and mentorship, Lester marks out a hopeful pathway that cultivates potential and provides opportunities for Black youth to thrive.

For Those Who Believe in a Just Future

This book speaks to those who are ready to champion change and reimagine what is possible for marginalized communities. From Dropout to Doctorate will challenge you to question the status quo and equip you to make a difference in your community.

If you’re ready to join the fight for educational equity and inspire the next generation, pick up your copy today. Will you be the next one to make an impact?

Images courtesy of author

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