Skill of the Week: Cross a Piranha-Infested River

An important part of manhood has always been about having the competence to be effective in the world — having the breadth of skills, the savoir-faire, to handle any situation you find yourself in. With that in mind, each Sunday we’ll be republishing one of the illustrated guides from our archives, so you can hone your manly know-how week by week.

Here’s the good news: piranhas very rarely attack humans unless said humans are already injured or dead. Here’s the bad news, according to Ray Owczarzak, assistant curator of fishes at the National Aquarium in Baltimore: it would only take about 5 minutes for a good-sized school of piranhas to devour an entire man.

Luckily, you won’t encounter piranhas anywhere in the world except South America, where they live only in freshwater, typically in warm, slow-moving rivers and floodplains. If you have your choice of season, pick the wet season (October-March) when piranhas have plenty to eat and won’t be feeling quite as bitey. And it goes without saying, if you see piranhas actively feeding in the water you’re about to cross, choose a different spot unless you’re the sort of person that enjoys sticking their hand into an active blender. 

Illustration by Ted Slampyak

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

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