Most days, most of us neglect ourselves. What I mean is that we’re doing our best to tend to everything and everyone else. But we aren’t tending to our own needs, and because of that, problems start to arise from this neglect.

Some examples of problems that arise:

• We feel more anxiety and overwhelm
• Because of that, we have a hard time focusing on difficult tasks, so we go to distraction or busywork
• We start to feel worse about ourselves, and feel more discouraged
• We are more easily upset or hurt by other people not attending to our needs (because our needs are being unmet)
• Because of that, we tend to be grumpier or more easily annoyed at others, blame them, criticize, or distance ourselves from them, worsening our relationships

As you can see, it can be a snowball effect of problems, and we usually misattribute the problems to other factors. But it’s simply from neglecting our own needs.

So how do we work with this? By doing something caring for yourself every day. Each day ask yourself:
“What’s something that would make me feel good, or loved? What unmet need of mine could I meet with something caring?”
And then take just a little time to give that to yourself. It will make a world of difference.

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This post was previously published on Zen Habits. Uncopyright courtesy Leo Babauta.

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