How to Stay Single Without Losing Your Damn Mind

A few months ago, I showed up solo to a wedding.

I was looking good: red dress, smug confidence, hair doing exactly what I asked it to for once.

I made it all the way to the cake cutting before one of my mom’s friends leaned in and whispered, “Don’t worry, honey. You’ll find someone soon.”

Ma’am, I wasn’t worried until you said that.

Also, I was too busy demolishing a slice of chocolate cake to feel incomplete. Honestly, the cake was better than most men I’ve dated.

Being single isn’t the problem.

The problem is that everyone else treats it like a contagious disease. Like you should be quarantined until someone puts a ring on your finger.

Singlehood isn’t a waiting room. It’s not the sad prequel to “real life.” And if you treat it that way, yeah, you’ll lose your damn mind.

But if you don’t?

Being single can be one of the richest, most interesting times of your life.

Single=Broken?

Let’s kill the clichés:

• You’re not “picky.”
• You’re not “behind.”
• You’re not “half a person.”

You’re just… single. That’s all there is.

Society acts like you should be swiping desperately on dating apps before your eggs shrivel, or you turn into some kind of folklore cautionary tale.

But being single isn’t a flaw. It’s a season. Sometimes a short one. Sometimes a long one. But never a defect.

You’re not incomplete. You’re not missing anything essential. Unless, of course, you count oat milk you forgot to buy at the grocery store because you’re the only one in charge of the list.

But that’s not about singlehood. That’s just adulthood.

What You Can Control

Here’s what you can’t control:

• Whether Tinder serves you someone who can spell.
• Your aunt interrogating you about your love life over Thanksgiving pie.
• How many engagement announcements pop up on Instagram in a single week (spoiler: too many).

Here’s what you can control:

1. Your attitude — seeing singlehood as punishment vs. possibility.
2. Your effort — building a life that doesn’t feel like it’s missing a piece.
3. Your perspective — remembering relationships don’t guarantee happiness (shocker, I know).

Stop Acting Like You’re on Pause

I used to treat being single like I was in some purgatory. Friday night alone was proof that I was failing at life. Scrolling past couples on vacation made me feel like everyone else was happier than me.

Until it hit me: nobody was holding me back from living. I was.

The moment you stop treating singlehood like a waiting period, it turns into freedom. It’s no longer empty but wide open.

Nobody’s asking you to compromise on Thai food vs. pizza. Nobody’s hogging the blankets. Nobody’s sighing when you binge the same comfort show for the third time.

Singlehood is space. And you get to decide how to fill it.

Build a Life That’s Juicy Without a Plus-One

People talk about love like it’s the ultimate ingredient for joy. Cute. But I’ve seen couples fight about dirty dishes with the intensity of a Netflix drama.

Love isn’t the only thing worth living for. Fulfilment comes from work that excites you, friendships that carry you, and rituals that make you proud to be alive, even on a Tuesday.

If you want to stay single without losing your mind, stop waiting and start building:

• Take yourself out (yes, to a restaurant table for one, and yes, order dessert).
• Travel solo. It’s terrifying and liberating in equal measure.
• Throw yourself into hobbies you secretly wanted to try but didn’t because your ex hated them (hello, pole dance classes).

The point is: create a life so textured, so good, so unmistakably yours that it’s not a “placeholder” for a partner. Make it the main event.

Relationships Aren’t Heaven, FYI

Rarely does anybody admit it out loud: a lot of people in relationships are lonely. A lot of marriages are miserable. Some of the most “settled” people you know cry in the bathroom at night.

I am not bitter. But it’s reality. Having a partner doesn’t guarantee bliss. Sometimes it guarantees headaches and joint tax returns.

Partnership can be amazing, yes. But it’s not salvation. And singlehood isn’t exile.

You’re not lacking or in limbo. You’re living. Right now.

Decide You’re Enough

The actual secret to staying single without losing your damn mind?

Stop waiting for your “other half.”

Your worth doesn’t fluctuate based on your relationship status. You’re not “half a person” waiting for your other half. You’re already whole. Anyone who comes along is extra.

You can want love someday, sure. But you don’t need to treat your single life like some tragic holding pattern until it arrives.

Singlehood isn’t the problem. How you see it is.

And the next time your aunt tilts their head sympathetically and asks, “Still single?” don’t flinch. Smile and say, “Yep. And I’m doing just fine.”

Then go back to eating your cake, living your life, and enjoying the kind of freedom people in relationships sometimes secretly envy.

Let’s keep in touch!

Join my Substack: MindsetMatters

Your support means a great deal to me. If you would like to fuel my creativity with coffee, buy me a coffee and share your thoughts.