Love might make the world go ‘round, but in today’s dating and marriage landscape, money often steers the wheel. A revealing survey conducted by the relationship experts at Tawkify uncovers just how much financial concerns are shaping romantic decisions in the United States. The numbers paint a sobering picture.

Here are seven uncomfortable truths that show how deeply money is entangled with matters of the heart.

1. Nearly 4 in 10 Would Choose Money Over Love

According to Tawkify’s nationally representative survey of 1,000 Americans, 63% of people say they would marry for love, even if it meant a lifetime of financial hardship. The remaining 37% say they would choose financial stability over love.

This tension suggests that while most people still idealize love, a large portion are unwilling or unable to ignore the role of money in building a life together.

2. Women Still Prefer Higher-Earning Partners

Despite advances in gender equality, traditional expectations remain. Tawkify found that women reported their ideal partner would earn $110,000 per year, compared to $90,000 for men.

This expectation gap means men are still expected to earn more in many romantic relationships, regardless of a woman’s own income or career success. These social norms don’t just shape who people date. They also affect how couples split responsibilities and perceive each other’s worth at home.

3. Men Feel the Pressure to Be Financially Impressive

The survey also revealed that 39% of men feel pressured to appear more financially stable or successful than they actually are when entering a relationship. While women feel some pressure as well, men reported significantly higher levels of financial performance anxiety.

This pressure doesn’t vanish after dating. In long-term relationships, it often intensifies. Especially in marriages where men are no longer the primary earners. This distress can affect mental health, emotional connection, and the way couples share the load at home.

4. Money Keeps People in Relationships They Don’t Want

One of the most revealing findings is that 69% of respondents said they had stayed in a relationship longer than they wanted to because of shared finances. Forty-four percent stayed temporarily due to a financial bind, while 25% stayed indefinitely.

In other words, money isn’t just influencing who people choose to love. It’s trapping some people in relationships they’ve emotionally left. That dynamic can create power imbalances, emotional resentment, and deep distrust.

5. Financial Status Can Win Back an Ex

Tawkify found that 30% of Americans would consider getting back together with an ex if that ex had become financially successful. Nearly one in three people would reconsider a broken relationship if money entered the picture.

This insight reveals how financial compatibility is often elevated above emotional compatibility. While it’s normal to want security, tying relationship choices too tightly to money can lead to mismatched values and disappointment down the road.

6. Financial Insecurity Is a Dating Dealbreaker

The survey also showed that 48% of people would not date someone without a job, even if they found the person attractive. The underlying message is that financial independence isn’t just a nice-to-have. It’s a must-have for nearly half of all adults.

That expectation might make practical sense, but it can also shut down opportunities for connection. Especially during times of economic transition, unemployment, or caregiving shifts. Without space for flexibility and support, these rigid standards can weaken potential partnerships before they begin.

7. “Broke and Magical” Isn’t for Everyone

Tawkify posed a fascinating question. Would you rather date someone rich and boring or broke and magical?

A small majority of Americans, 54%, said they would prefer a magical connection despite financial struggle. That includes 58% of women and 51% of men.

But the flipside is equally telling. Nearly half of Americans would prefer a financially stable partner even if the relationship lacked emotional excitement. This suggests that many people view love as something to be balanced with practical concerns, not pursued at any cost.

Why These Findings Matter

At Modern Husbands, I help couples manage money and the home as a team. These findings reinforce what we hear every day from the couples we support.

Many men feel ashamed when they aren’t the primary breadwinner. Many women still expect men to earn more, even as they climb the career ladder themselves. Couples delay hard conversations about money, letting silence breed resentment. Financial pressure is causing people to enter, stay in, or exit relationships based on dollars more than compatibility.

The result is an environment where emotional connection is constantly in competition with economic survival. For couples trying to build equitable partnerships, this can be an emotional minefield.

One Tip That Can Change Help

If there’s one action you can take today, it’s this. Talk openly about money without judgment.

These conversations build the foundation for empathy, trust, and partnership. They allow couples to understand each other’s values and reduce the fear and confusion that financial silence often brings.

Because no one should have to choose between love and financial peace.

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