American Women Suck

Kiev Mayor Vitaly Klitschko and several Ukrainian media outlets have reported that a fire in the building was caused by a downed drone Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia Sviridenko has accused Russia of striking a government office in central Kiev, posting a video from inside a damaged corridor. However, reports by Kiev Mayor Vitaly Klitschko and Ukrainian media suggested that the blaze was sparked by debris from a downed drone, not a direct hit. In the video posted to social media on Sunday, Sviridenko said “you can see the consequences of the attack” while standing in a corridor with some scattered debris. She also claimed that the fire caused by the attack covered 800 square meters. No clearly visible signs of any major blaze can be seen in the video except for what appears to be a burnt roof. Klitschko stated earlier on Telegram that a government office caught fire after Ukrainian air defenses brought down a drone. Several local media outlets, including TSN and Focus, also reported that the fire was caused by wreckage from the intercepted UAV. The Russian Defense Ministry stated on Sunday that the nation’s military had targeted two military industrial facilities on the outskirts of Kiev in an overnight strike. It denied striking the government office. Sviridenko used the incident to accuse Moscow of “not seeking peace” and urged Kiev’s Western backers to “help close our sky” and “strengthen sanctions against Russia.” She also published a photo of herself standing inside a severely damaged building, claiming it to be the government office. Photos released by the Ukrainian emergency services on social media only showed fire and smoke coming out of several windows on the upper floor of the government building, with no visible damage to its walls or roof. This is not the first time Ukrainian officials have pointed the finger at Russia for damage caused either by a shot-down projectile or Ukraine's own air-defenses. Such incidents in the past have set residential buildings and infrastructure ablaze, raising questions over Kiev’s placement of anti-air systems close to civilian areas. Moscow maintains that it never targets civilians, only Kiev’s defense industry and military-related facilities. View the full article

By Alvin Powell | Harvard Staff Writer | Harvard Gazette As anxiety and depression persist at alarming rates among U.S. teens, less than a third of the nation’s public schools conduct mental health screenings, and a significant number of those that do say it’s hard to meet students’ needs, according to a new survey of principals. With staffing that includes counselors and nurses, public schools are uniquely positioned to help address the youth mental health crisis declared in 2021 by the U.S. surgeon general, according to Harvard Medical School’s Hao Yu, a co-author of the study. “Child mental health is a severe public health issue in this country,” he said. “Even before COVID, about a quarter of children had different degrees of mental health problems, and during the pandemic the problem just got worse.” The study, published last month in JAMA Network Open, is the first since 2016 to poll public school principals on children’s mental health, said Yu, an associate professor of population medicine. The intervening years have included COVID-related disruptions, growing worries about screen time, and a surge of artificial intelligence in everyday life, he noted. $1B Cut from previously approved federal funding for school mental health support One positive finding from the survey, which was funded with a grant from the National Institute of Mental Health, is that the percentage of U.S. public schools that screen for mental health issues has risen significantly in the past nine years, albeit from just 13 percent to 30.5 percent. The survey asked 1,019 principals three questions: Do you screen for student mental health issues? What steps are taken for students identified with anxiety or depression, two of the most common youth mental health issues? And how easy or hard it is to find adequate mental health care for students who need it? The responses show that the most common step taken for students struggling with anxiety or depression is to notify parents — almost 80 percent of schools did that. Seventy-two percent offer in-person treatment, while about half refer to an outside mental health provider. Less than 20 percent offer telehealth treatment. Responses to the final question highlight the challenge facing those seeking to address the problem, with 41 percent describing the task of getting care as “hard” or “very hard,” a result that Yu said, while concerning, isn’t surprising given the nationwide shortage of mental health providers. The survey, conducted with colleagues from the Medical School, the nonpartisan research organization RAND, Brigham and Women’s Hospital, the University of Pittsburgh, the Harvard Pilgrim Health Care Institute, and Brown University, also showed that school-based screening programs are concentrated in larger schools, with 450 students or more, and in districts with larger populations of racial and ethnic minority students. Helping young people overcome mental health challenges is a multistep process, Yu said. “We need to make child psychiatry an attractive profession and we need to train more mid-level providers — social workers, school nurses, and counselors — because those middle-level providers play an important gatekeeper role, helping identify children with mental health problems and helping children and their families get into the healthcare system,” he said. It’s also important, Yu said, to get policy right at all levels of government. For example, he said, even though it’s clear that meeting the challenge will require more resources, the federal government recently slashed $1 billion in previously approved school mental health funding. A potentially positive development, he said, is the nationwide trend toward restrictions on smartphone use. “I don’t think any other institution can replace the schools in identifying and treating child mental health problems,” Yu said. “If mental health problems are treated, their severity can be greatly reduced. Mental health problems not treated in childhood can have a long-lasting effect into adulthood. That’s not an optimal situation for our society.” — This story is reprinted with permission from The Harvard Gazette. *** Subscribe to The Good Men Project Newsletter Email Address * If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member today. All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here. — Photo credit: unsplash The post Missing Teens Where They Are appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

A collection of these horror movies are coming out on 4K Ultra HD I haven’t really watched any of the A Nightmare on Elm Street movies. I have heard that they are good, but never have seen any of them myself. I am familiar with the character and just how popular this character is. Many years ago I did see Freddy Vs. Jason and thoroughly enjoyed it. Recently it was announced all seven films from this series are coming out on 4K Ultra HD and here is my thoughts on this news. You can read the premise for this collection here: Freddy Krueger, a vengeful child killer burned alive by angry parents, returns to haunt the dreams of their children in this chilling 7-film saga. From his first terrifying appearance on Elm Street to his resurrection through nightmares, Freddy unleashes horror across generations—where sleep is no escape, and dreams become deadly. It is pretty cool to hear these films are being released in a collection. Each one tells the next chapter in this deadly saga and takes viewers of all ages on a wild ride. The new bonus content promises to take a look back at these films and the legacy they have left behind. If you are a fan of these movies then you will want to pick this collection up when it comes out. A Nightmare on Elm Street 7 Film Collection arrives on 4K Ultra HD and Digital September 30th. The post ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ 7 Film Collection Is Coming Soon on 4K Ultra HD appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

Passwords everywhere can be a nightmare: That’s why I trust NordPass. It securely stores all my logins and fills them in instantly, so I never get locked out. Get NordPass today for $1.34 a month and experience a smarter way to manage passwords! The post Passwords everywhere can be a nightmare appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

The breakthrough drug reduced tumor size and growth by up to 80% in early testing, according to Veronika Skvortsova Russia’s newly developed cancer vaccine has shown high effectiveness in preclinical trials and is ready for rollout, according to Veronika Skvortsova, head of the Federal Medical-Biological Agency. The breakthrough drug is awaiting approval from the Russian Health Ministry. The vaccine showed excellent results in three years of preclinical trials, the official told Izvestia on Friday on the sidelines of the Eastern Economic Forum in Vladivostok. “The [trials] have proven the safety of the vaccine, including its repeated use, as well as its high efficiency, which was associated with a reduction in tumor size and a slowdown in tumor growth,” Skvortsova said. She added that in some cancers, the effect reached 60-80%. “Studies have shown an increase in survival, which is also very important.” “We submitted documents to the Ministry of Health to obtain permission for clinical use” at the end of summer, the official added. The vaccine is ready for use, we are waiting for permission. The initial launch is planned for colorectal cancer, with jabs for glioblastoma and melanoma to follow, she added. According to its developer, the Gamaleya Research Institute of Epidemiology and Microbiology, the drug is an mRNA-based vaccine that uses AI to train the patient’s immune system to attack cancer cells. Institute head Alexander Gintsburg said earlier that the vaccine is subject to a unique regulatory framework due to its nature. “This is a fundamentally different process from the registration of standard drugs,” he noted last month. The institute also developed Russia’s Sputnik V Covid-19 vaccine and is currently working on an HIV vaccine using the same mRNA technology. View the full article

Supposed Mythical Beings Now Walk the Streets and Stop to Stare Us in the Face In the past, it seemed that the mythical meanings of events were more subtle and hidden, but no more. They walk the streets with us and often stop to stare us in the face. Myth can mean a traditional, sacred, or universal story, a story of heroes and heroines, creator beings and destroyers⎼ a story revealing a more intuitive way of viewing life, an invisible realm that parallels our usual one. And it can also mean an untruth or false belief. And today, our president illustrates both meanings. He has taken lies, corruption, a lust for power and vindictiveness against opponents to such historic levels he has become for many larger than human, a wanna-be deity or devil, a destroyer being walking the halls of our capital. And for too many others who follow him blindly, he’s an angel of vengeance. But instead of this mythical being living only in story and legend, he’s very human and all too real. And what we, the rest of us, are called to do can seem like something only a hero could accomplish. But usually we don’t feel heroic; we feel like ordinary beings facing a reality that is extraordinarily unbelievable, frightening, and despicable. For example, the DT administration is planning to destroy or abandon satellites that collect information about pollution and carbon build up in the atmosphere, as well as terminate the collection of weather data that collects vital information on hurricanes. And why the enmity for weather information? It seems the only reason for terminating the satellites is to end scientific research into⎼ and proof of⎼ human-caused climate change. He wants to block the availability of information that can be used to protect the environment and protect the sustainability of human life on the planet. And instead, he wants to empower private entities and corporations to abuse it. Politico reports that DT has stopped information from the Defense Meteorological Satellite Program from being distributed to users. This includes data on hurricanes that has been crucial in protecting people who live on the coast from dangerous weather conditions. Weather collection has greatly improved since Katrina, but DT’s actions can put that at risk, and put lives at risk. Will free weather reports and all regular weather satellites be destroyed next? When I was teaching high school, students wanted me not to use the word ignorance. They disliked anything that sounded like abuse, bullying, being unfair; and calling someone ignorant can do that. And I loved that concern by students. But ignorance can also serve a powerful descriptive purpose. The root ig means not, opposite of. And nore comes from the Latin gnarus, meaning aware or to know. Ignorance is not knowing, not-seeing what’s right there to see and know. It has a connotation of willful not-knowing. In the past, ignorance was considered a detriment, even dangerous for a politician. Now, we have a president working to create a reign of ignorance, particularly about who he is. He’s pushing ignorance and greed over accurate knowledge and favoring the advancement of a few wealthy and politically powerful individuals over protecting the health and safety of all of us on this planet. And instead of protecting our health, he’s undermining it. He’s dismantling health research, distorting the science of vaccines, firing Health & Human Services personnel, and ordering public health scientists and researchers to remain silent. The misnamed Big Beautiful Bill could strip 16 million people from their health insurance and close many hospitals, which could jeopardize the whole health care system. And he lies so brazenly and persistently he makes truth almost impossible to discern. For example, by constantly shouting lies about Democrats stealing the 2020 election, he magically transformed claims of stealing an election into lies. He can then go out and steal an election. He also makes truth difficult to discern by undermining education itself. He’s threatening to end public schooling for the majority and replacing it with for-profit and religious schools. He’s trying to end teaching the truth of historical topics he doesn’t want known, like slavery and other aspects of Black history in the US. He dislikes and fears academic freedom and free speech so he’s acting to destroy the independence of colleges and universities, forcing them to shape their teaching to fit his personal and political agenda. He’s destroying the robust cooperation between government and universities that in the past produced productive discoveries that made our nation stand out over others. For example, drugs for lung cancer or immunotherapy treatments have both been developed through government and university cooperation. He’s even pressuring museums and institutions like the Smithsonian to close exhibits he doesn’t like on aspects of US history and culture. He actually said the museum focuses too much on “how bad slavery was.” Does he think slavery was good? Maybe in some mythical universe, meaning a world dominated by giant-sized lies and hateful beliefs, DT’s actions might appear rational, sane, beneficial. But in one where truth is usually valued and studied, the common good often fostered, and “ordinary” people encouraged to act as heroes in their own stories, his actions are perceived as enervating, corrupt, and malignant. And they must be stopped. — iStock image The post When We Turn Reality Into Myth appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

23-year-old Irina Zarutskaya was allegedly killed by a homeless career criminal on a North Carolina train A video released by the authorities in North Carolina shows the fatal stabbing of a Ukrainian woman on a Charlotte train, with the attacker – identified as a homeless man with a long criminal record and mental health issues – stabbing her from behind without warning. Surveillance footage, which was released by the Charlotte Area Transit System on Saturday and went viral on social media, shows the moments leading to the death of Irina Zarutskaya, 23, on August 22. In the video, Zarutskaya, who had fled the fighting in Ukraine, is seen boarding the train and taking a seat. After several seconds, a man sitting directly behind her suddenly stands, draws a knife, and stabs her in the neck. No words are exchanged, and she appears not to respond before the assault begins. The suspect, identified by police as Decarlos Brown Jr., 34, is then seen walking through the carriage past other passengers – who were at the moment apparently unaware of the attack – with a knife in his hand and blood dripping on the floor as he exits the train. Ukrainians' learning what it means to be white A Ukrainian woman who came to the U.S. was stabbed to death in the neck by a homeless POS with a lengthy criminal history in Charlotte, NChttps://t.co/54iP6n3DhY pic.twitter.com/iUx5hA5H52 — Gloria Twiford (@audiegloria) September 6, 2025 Police said Zarutskaya collapsed in her seat and died at the scene. Brown was arrested shortly afterward and has been charged with first-degree murder. According to public records, the suspect was homeless and had been arrested multiple times since 2011. His past convictions include armed robbery, breaking and entering, felony larceny, motor vehicle theft, and misuse of the 911 system. He also served a prison sentence in a North Carolina jail and was released in September 2020. Brown had reported experiencing mental health problems, including claims that a “man-made material” controlled his body. In July 2025, a judge ordered a forensic psychiatric evaluation, but it was never carried out. View the full article

— When Americans click the buy now button, they rarely think about what happens next. But behind every order is a warehouse, and when warehouses stumble, the whole system feels it. The Department of Transportation estimates that freight bottlenecks cost the U.S. economy more than $66 billion each year in lost time and higher expenses. Those delays show up everywhere, from grocery store shelves to hospital supply rooms. For Micheal Odunsi, an operations leader who has spent years inside some of the country’s busiest facilities, warehouses aren’t just buildings. They are the engine rooms of the nation’s supply chain and strengthening them could mean stronger communities and a more competitive economy. “Warehouses are the engine room of any supply chain, where all action happens,” Odunsi told me. “Every online order passes through the warehouse even as little as a pin, this is why being thorough is the baseline of a functional warehouse.” He points out that warehouses are invisible when they’re working well but painfully visible when they fail. One small disruption can cascade into thousands of late deliveries, broken trust with customers, and higher costs across the board. Odunsi has spent his career fixing those choke points. At one site, he helped redesign processes to cut non-value time by more than 70 percent. In plain language, that means eliminating idle minutes when associates are waiting instead of moving freight. “Similar to cutting traffic jams in a busy city, once nonvalue time is cleared everything moves smoothly,” he said. The payoff is measurable including associates staying productive, costs coming down, and for customers it translates into faster delivery and more affordable prices. The vulnerabilities in America’s warehouses became obvious during the pandemic. Facilities short on staff or reliant on manual scanning simply couldn’t keep up. “If the facility lacks the appropriate number of associates, flexibility, and technology needed the whole network slows down,” Odunsi explained. On peak nights, even a small gap in labor or machine availability could roll volume forward, causing thousands of delays. He believes the answer lies in a smarter mix of people and technology, with investments in automated tracking paired with strong planning and team development What happens inside these warehouses doesn’t stay inside. Odunsi points to the ripple effect across industries: “A well-run warehouse means well stocked grocery shelves for families, hospitals avoid shortages, and retailers avoid missed sales.” The link between warehouse performance and everyday life is direct. If a pallet of food doesn’t leave the dock on time, it might mean fewer choices at the supermarket. If medical supplies are delayed, hospitals face risks no one wants to imagine. Odunsi’s philosophy extends beyond metrics like cost-per-hour or on-time departure. He invests in people. “Developing managers and teams is essential because people are the base of operation,” he said. He’s trained managers on workflow and coached process assistants to take on greater responsibility, which has led to smoother shifts and stronger associate engagement. He sees leadership development as a great value, including better managers not only to improve productivity, but also create safer workplaces and leaders who take those skills into their families and communities. At the national scale, the stakes are enormous. Odunsi estimates that applying his strategies broadly, such as cutting idle time, tightening workflows, and strengthening teams, could save billions. “I have seen how the project saves millions of dollars in one building, imagine running that across the country, the savings will be in billions,” he said. Those savings don’t just improve balance sheets. They lower logistics costs nationwide, which means cheaper commodities for customers, more reliable deliveries, and room for companies to grow and hire in the U.S. The invisible warehouse may never get the spotlight, but Odunsi believes it should. The efficiency of those four walls shapes the prices we pay, the trust we place in brands, and the security of critical supplies. America’s supply chain competitiveness depends on what happens inside them. And as Odunsi’s work shows, when warehouses run smarter, the entire country benefits. — This content is brought to you by Melissa Moraes. Photo provided by the author. The post Micheal Odunsi Shares How Warehouses Are The Invisible Backbone of America’s Supply Chain appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” Les Brown Franklin Roosevelt memorably said, “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” And fear is the strongest emotion that you have. It’s what keeps you, me, and everyone else alive. And while the feeling is always real, it isn’t always valid. And that’s where fear can be problematic. Your body cannot recognize the difference between real and valid fear—being chased by a lion—and fear that’s only real—having a difficult conversation with your wife. Both will send you into fight or flight mode. But only one is really life threatening. The other may only be a threat to your lifestyle. But when you are afraid to have a conversation with your wife, your primal brain kicks in and you prepare for the battle you fear will come instead. I get it. One of my greatest fears is my husband telling me he’s leaving. We’ve been together for 40 years, but that fear is deeply embedded in my past. So about 15 years ago, when he needed to talk with me about our intimacy, that fear got triggered. (And, yes, relationship professionals have the same challenges as everyone else.) Using every tool I had, I was able to make it through the conversation. But, I had broken one of my cardinal rules—not to have a serious conversation after 8:00 at night. We started around 11 pm and finished at 1 am. For the next two hours I remained glued in the chair. I slept for about two hours before my fear woke me up. When my husband finally got up, I faced my fear. I asked him if things didn’t change the way he wanted, would he leave? He looked at me like I had three heads and said, “No, where did you ever get that idea?” A huge weight had lifted. My fear had been real, but not valid. Luckily, I didn’t let my fear get the best of me and kept it away from my marriage. And you can too. JOIN OUR FREE FACEBOOK GROUP FOR MEN ONLY, GOOD GUYS, GREAT HUSBANDS — Previously Published on The Hero Husband Project *** All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here. —– You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project .10 Things Good Men Should Never Do in a Relationship The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex .. In Modern Relationships, We Cheat Every Single Day Here’s What Happens When You Find The One — Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything iStock featured image The post Don’t Let Fear Destroy Your Marriage appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

🔋 iPhone Clean Energy Charging: By default, your iPhone checks the grid and schedules charging when power is cleaner. That means it may charge slower or delay topping up. Need full power right away? Go to Settings > Battery > Battery Health & Charging, and toggle off Clean Energy Charging. Bet Apple didn’t tell you that. The post iPhone Clean Energy Charging appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

Phones Don’t Just Steal Our Time. They Steal Our Love. Not because we betray — but because we disappear. Psychologists even have a word for it: phubbing (phone-snubbing). In one experiment, researchers left a phone sitting on the table — unused. That alone was enough to make conversations feel less meaningful, less trusting, and less empathetic (Przybylski & Weinstein, 2013). Other studies show the effect runs deeper when phones actually intrude. In 2016, Roberts and David found that “partner phubbing” — checking a phone during interactions — leads to more conflict, lower relationship satisfaction, and even higher rates of depression. In other words: when the phone wins, someone you love feels like they lose. But what if the same urge to scroll could be transformed into the greatest gift your partner or child ever receives? The Core Quote “When you feel the urge to scroll, don’t hide it. Say it. Every time I tell you about my sacrifice, I don’t lose dopamine — I redirect it. I take the dopamine my brain wanted from scrolling and turn it into the dopamine of loving you.” That’s the heartbeat of the Dopamine Swap Method. 0) First, Drop the Shame If you feel the itch to check your phone at dinner or bedtime, you are not broken. Apps are designed to hijack dopamine. The urge isn’t your weakness — it’s engineering. What matters is what you do with it. 1) Why the Phone Hurts So Much When you reach for your phone in a sacred moment, your loved one feels second place. The message is silent but sharp: “The phone wins. You lose.” Few things corrode closeness faster than being chosen second right in front of you. 2) The Big Flip: Dopamine of Love > Dopamine of Scrolling Scrolling hijacks dopamine with “variable rewards” — maybe a like, maybe a comment, maybe nothing. The unpredictability is what hooks us. But neuroscience has shown something deeper. In classic studies on bonding, Insel and Young (2001) demonstrated that acts of love and attachment activate the same dopamine reward circuits that drugs of abuse do — but in richer, more lasting ways. Here’s the everyday proof: when you’re giving a surprise gift to someone you love, you’re never scrolling. The dopamine of giving is stronger than the buzz of the feed. That’s the breakthrough: you don’t fight dopamine. You redirect it. 3) The Dopamine Swap Method Step 1 — Notice. Catch the spark of temptation. Label it: “Scroll-urge.” Step 2 — Name. Turn to your loved one and say: “You can’t imagine the urge I have to check my phone right now… but my urge to connect with you is stronger.” Research on relationships shows that sacrifices only deepen connection if they’re recognized. Silent sacrifices often go unnoticed. Spoken ones are remembered. Step 3 — Swap. Put the phone down. Replace scrolling with presence: laugh, hug, listen, play. Step 4 — Seal. End with the most powerful phrase in a distracted age: “I chose you.” 4) Make It an Everyday Ritual Phone urges are daily. So Swaps must be daily too. Here’s how to explain it to your family: “Every day I feel the pull to check my phone. By telling you about it, I don’t just resist — I transform it. Speaking the sacrifice helps me battle the addiction, because in that moment I change the dopamine of scrolling into the dopamine of loving you.” Now repetition isn’t awkward — it’s the cure. Each time you say it, it becomes another gift. 5) Sacred Times for Swaps Meals Bedtime School pickup The first 10 minutes home Date nights / car rides Even two swaps a day can shift the emotional climate of a family. The Legacy of Attention For centuries, devotion was proven through presence: writing letters, sharing meals, sitting together without distraction. Today, love has a new test: Can you put the screen away? Each time you say “I chose you,” you’re not just resisting distraction — you’re rewriting memory. Ten years from now, your family won’t remember the notifications you ignored. They’ll remember the words that made them feel wanted, safe, and chosen. And research supports this: psychologist Catrin Finkenauer and colleagues (2002) found that small daily sacrifices are remembered longer, and matter more for relationship satisfaction, than grand gestures. The Dopamine Swap taps into exactly that truth. The Line That Lasts There is no bigger gift than telling your loved one: “I had a huge urge to scroll — but I love you more. I changed that urge into love. I chose you.” A Legacy in the Age of Distraction When history looks back at our century, it won’t be the feeds and apps that matter. It will be whether we found a way to turn distraction into devotion. And the answer can be this: We didn’t just resist the screen. We transformed it into proof of love. — iStock image The post The Dopamine Swap: How to Turn Phone Addiction Into the Greatest Gift appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

I will admit, I was triggered by this social media post today that said, “Cheating doesn’t start with sex, it starts with sneaky conversations.” If you talked to my most recent LTR (long-term relationship) she’d tell you, I’m obsessively intent on expressing my own fidelity. I go out of my way to clarify any relationships with women, so there is no misunderstanding between us. I try to be as clean as possible in my relationships. I know, and I believe, LOVE is what you contribute and how hard you work at being a better lover. Sneaky Conversations When I re-met the mother of my children, we’d not seen each other since high school. She was a grade behind me, we shared typing class in 8th grade. That’s what I remember. Oh, and she has a fantastic smile. Radiant. This was also true when I ran into her on Easter Sunday oh so many years ago. I went in for a handshake, she pulled me in for a hug. I’m a hugger. I was being conservative. We walked together to her breakfast coffee date, another woman I’d known since high school. The three of us sat and caught up on our lives. I was recently divorced (1-year), she was recently divorced and our friend was unmarried. We exchanged hugs and I left to join my mom and my sister’s kids at their Easter service. I could smell her perfume on my neck the entire day. A week or so later, I invited her to lunch. I had gotten her phone number from our mutual friend. We had a great time. She was amazing. I was crushing right off the bat. We began an intense days long series of texts that continued to get more and more flirty. We had lunch again. More flirty texts. Still, above board. Well, except for this next part. THIS ENTIRE TIME, she was living with a man. She was lunching with me. Flirting with me via text. I had not idea there was another man. From her activities and openness to the playful banter I was certain she was single. She was not. A Date for the History Books Still in the dark, we had our first date on a Saturday night. I invited her to dinner and a live concert for a California band called SilverJet. We danced. We hugged. We kissed. She came back to my condo. We kissed some more. She followed me into my hot tub. She went home late. No sex, just a ton of foreplay. A few flirty texts on Sunday, but there was something amiss. Monday morning she invited me to meet her for lunch. She confessed to the “other man” and said she needed to pause any further connections between us. “I need to see if there’s anything left in my other relationship.” The period of silence began. I honored her request and did not call or text her. Five weeks later, she texted me, “Well, we’re done.” Two Kids Later Life was not easy, but it was greatly enhanced by our marriage and eventual birthing of a boy and a girl. We struggled through the ocean waves of life, the ups and downs. Our lives together grew more complex. The kids were just beginning to go to school. In our house I was the computer manager, the IT department. I was on the family iMac clearing away some old files and I was deleted spam from a gmail account. More Sneaky Conversations I was just about to delete a message that looked like it was from our cable provider. Some of the text caught my eye. “Thank you for lunch and introducing me to the library. That was awesome. I’ll see you again soon.” Um… Wait, what? I clicked the outbox and noticed her reply and my entire world blew apart as I read about her “troubled marriage” and “depressed husband” and finally “someone I can talk to.” She was beginning the sneaky conversations with a new person. I get the impulse. Marriage is hard. Couples Therapy is hard. Making it work is hard and sometimes lonely. She needed a therapist, not a male confidant. What about our mutual friend, couldn’t you just talk to her about how hard your life was? It’s true, she did not sleep with this younger coworker. As far as I know. When I confronted her about the email she said, “I can see how that would make you feel. I won’t do it again.” No apology. Even in marriage counseling, she never apologized for her actions, only for causing me pain. I didn’t really see, until we were divorced, how this process she was involved in, was exactly how she replaced her previous relationship for me. Revealed later, the key component of her agenda, “have children.” Her previous boyfriend did not want to have kids. She needed a new boyfriend. The sneaky conversations outside of your marriage are a slippery slope. Just don’t do it. Flirting is fine, in public. Flirting via text messages and phone calls is the opening move of a cheating mind. Closing snipe: she married and changed her name as quickly as possible. There were no indicators that she had been flirting with her new husband before she left me. — Previously Published on The Whole Parent iStock image The post Cheating Doesn’t Start With Sex appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

🤝 Free Perplexity, kinda: If you use PayPal or Venmo, they’re handing you a free year of Perplexity Pro (normally $200) and early access to its AI browser. Just tap a button in the app. Only catch? You’re paying with your data, obviously. And yes, it auto-renews at the $200 price, because of course it does. The post Free Perplexity, kinda appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

The unilateral measures were associated with more than 560,000 excess deaths annually from 1971 to 2021, a recent study suggests Western sanctions contributed to nearly 29 million excess deaths worldwide over five decades – a toll comparable to that of wars, according to a recent study. The research, published last month in the Lancet Global Health, has gained attention around the world. Examining age-specific mortality in 152 countries from 1971 to 2021, using statistics from the Global Sanctions Database, researchers compared mortality rates before and after sanctions, tracking long-term trends to estimate their toll in excess deaths. They focused on three sanctioning authorities: The UN, the US, and the EU (and its predecessor). “We estimate that unilateral sanctions over this period caused 564,258 deaths per year, similar to the global mortality burden associated with armed conflict,” the authors noted, with a total of 28.8 million deaths across the 51-year span. We found the strongest effects for unilateral, economic, and US sanctions, whereas we found no statistical evidence of an effect for UN sanctions. Most excess deaths occurred among the most vulnerable – the very young and the elderly. “Our findings reveal that unilateral and economic sanctions, particularly those imposed by the USA, lead to substantial increases in mortality, disproportionately affecting children younger than 5 years,” the study said, noting that the age group accounted for 51% of the total death toll. The report found that the sanctions undermine economic and food security, often causing hunger and health problems among the poorest. Additionally, the dominance of the dollar and euro in global transactions allowed the US and EU to amplify the impact of their sanctions. At last year’s BRICS summit, member nations called for “unlawful unilateral coercive measures” to be eliminated, warning of their disproportionate impact on the most vulnerable. Members have increasingly avoided the dollar “to shield themselves from US arbitrariness,” Moscow has said. At the Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO) summit in Tianjin this week, Chinese President Xi Jinping called for a fairer global governance system based on mutual respect and opposition to Western dominance. Russian President Vladimir Putin welcomed the proposal as especially relevant when “some countries still do not abandon their desire for dictatorship in international affairs.” View the full article

All language is symbolic. Let’s go ahead and begin there. When I write the word “chair,” what happens in your mind is that an image emerges. Without further description, that chair could be imagined as anything from an old wooden kitchen chair to a modern La-Z-Boy recliner. The word “chair” is not the actual chair you might be sitting in right now; it is a symbolic representation of your grandmother’s favorite chair, the chair at your office, or even, I suppose, the chair on the ski slope chairlift. We use words to attempt to describe a reality we may have witnessed or imagined. We are trying to communicate with others something of the essence of the truth of what we experienced in the chair. Describing a chair is one thing, but the challenge grows substantially when discussing less concrete items. Thus, the difficulty of speaking about God arises. I often run into people who do not participate in religious activities. When they inevitably learn about my background as a minister, the topic of God or religion comes up. Once I’ve dispelled their suspicions that I might belong to some extremist fringe Christian sect that dances with snakes and promotes pre-enlightenment ideas, we usually have a good conversation. Sooner or later, they will say something like, “I don’t believe in God” or “I’m not religious but…,” followed by any number of statements suggesting it’s not so much God they have a problem with, but a particular idea of God. Davide CantelliUnsplash So, what do we mean when we talk about God? The author, Rob Bell, wrote an excellent book titled What We Talk about When We Talk about God. The gist of Bell’s book is that the world is humming with spirituality (I love that phrase: humming with spirituality). God is present in this world and the universe, far from being distant and removed. We need to be reawakened to God; we need the eyes to see God’s active nature. Bell contends that doctrines get in the way of truly experiencing God. What once helped us now harms us and holds us back. But God is ahead of us, beckoning us forward to a new world that is being born. Bell guides the reader through the scientific, cultural, and anthropological movements of the past 600 years, illustrating how these have altered our perceptions of God. For instance, very few people in the Western world still believe that God resembles the figure painted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Michelangelo’s work is magnificent, particularly when he painted it while lying on his back for months. However, most of us no longer envision God as a bearded old white man micromanaging every activity in the known universe. Calvin CraigUnsplash So, what do we mean when we say God? If I gather 100 people in a room, I suspect we’ll get 100 different answers. Yes, there would be patterns and some overlap, but further probing would reveal distinctions even among the most similar. This suggests that within each human being, there exists a God-image. This was Carl Jung’s idea: the human psyche contains an intrinsic God image and possesses an innate religious function. Therefore, religion is an essential and inevitable part of human existence. However, translating that impulse into a modern worldview struggles to find its way. Many traditional forms of religious expression no longer suffice. But that does not mean the God-impulse does not need expression. Throughout the years, as I’ve spoken with many religious and non-religious people, I’ve rarely encountered a confirmed atheist. Some dismiss and despise the concept of the old man in the sky micromanaging life. Yet, as the conversation evolves, it’s not unusual to hear people describe some vague, hard-to-define form. They use words and phrases such as “a kind of magnetic field,” or “an essence that interconnects,” or “something spiritual that touches us all.” The theologian Paul Tillich tried to assist people in this struggle. “Many confusions in the doctrine of God and many apologetic weaknesses could be avoided if God were understood first of all as being-itself or as the ground of being.” (Systematic Theology vol.1) God is existence itself rather than just a being, as in the supreme being. Greg RakozyUnsplash The title of this essay, “What do We Mean when We Say God,” creates a problem. I can’t answer that question for the collective “we,” so I’ll sidestep it and provide my perspective. After years, maybe decades, of wrestling with this idea of God, I’ve come to conclude that God is much bigger than any word could capture. However, I’ll try out a little God definition. For me, the word symbolizes an all-encompassing sacred dynamic immediately present to each of us while simultaneously being beyond the here and now. I’d love to have that reduced to a bumper sticker or t-shirt slogan, but all my efforts have failed so far. I have learned that there is a word for my views: Panendeism in philosophical circles. How did I not know a club would be willing to have someone with my ideas as a member? The word could easily be mistaken for its cousin Panentheism, but there is a slight difference. Panentheism and panendeism are both theological concepts that explore the relationship between God and the universe; however, they differ in their views on God’s existence and role in the cosmos. Panentheism suggests that God’s being encompasses and includes the universe while remaining distinct from it. Conversely, panendeism posits that God is both immanent within the universe and transcendent beyond it, potentially encompassing a supernatural realm. I’ve also come to view Jung’s idea of the God-Image as more than what some Jungian psychologists wish to reduce it to. They leave it as something within the psyche alone, almost as if it is an individual and isolated concept. In my view, this God-image exists in the psyche; however, it is also present because the entirety of life is imbued with the sacred, namely God. We know God through the God-image within. Could this be what Jung meant in his famous BBC television interview? When asked if he believed in God, he said, “I know. I don’t need to believe. I know” Alexei ScutariUnsplash All of this is symbolic chatter; even these words written on a computer screen are symbols attempting to convey an understanding. As I wrote in my book Ordinary Mysteries, “A symbol is a mark, sign, or even a word that is understood or represents an idea, object, or relationship. Symbols allow people to consciously go beyond what is known and comprehend meaning and connections between otherwise very different concepts and experiences.” What makes this intriguing is our collective desire to connect with others. A deep-seated yearning for intimacy within us fuels my passion for writing about these themes. It feels like that diving image is reaching out for connection and understanding with its different aspects, which can only be discovered through other people. “At the core of Carl Jung’s perception is intimated the expression ‘the symbolic life.’ There is a very deep, autonomous process at work in each of us which reaches the surface in metaphor or in symbol.” Dr. James Hollis And yet, as I look back k on this essay, I see there is something missing. I sense an incompleteness. I’m compelled to add the caveats that appear moments before pushing send. This piece is unfinished, it needs something concrete, tangible…an incarnation. Previously Published on substack iStock featured image The post What Do We Mean When We Say ‘God’? appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

🔥 Free up space on Fire Stick: You don’t need to delete apps to boost performance. Go to Settings > Applications > Manage Installed Applications. Open each app on the list, select Clear Cache and hit Confirm. This removes junk files while keeping the app and your login details saved. The post Free up space on Fire Stick appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

A €44 billion austerity gamble, strikes in the streets, and promises to Kiev are about to go up in smoke France’s government is once again on the verge of collapse. Prime Minister Francois Bayrou faces near-certain defeat in a confidence vote over a disputed austerity plan, a showdown that threatens President Emmanuel Macron’s authority at home and casts doubt on Paris’ ability to deliver on its ambitious promises abroad – including security guarantees for Ukraine. France in meltdown – how bad is it this time? Bayrou has staked his survival on a confidence vote scheduled for Monday, September 8. At issue is an austerity package worth €44 billion, meant to shrink France’s deficit from 5.4% of GDP in 2025 toward 4.6% in 2026. Under EU fiscal rules, the official ceiling is 3%, so Brussels is pressuring Paris to cut deeper. But the plan – which includes reducing public holidays and raising healthcare contributions – has triggered anger at home. Trade unions are preparing strikes, while opposition parties from the far left to the far right have pledged to vote against Bayrou. With his government already in a minority, few in Paris believe he can survive. Macron’s friend, savior, or dead weight? Francois Bayrou is one of the most familiar names in French politics. He leads the centrist Democratic Movement (MoDem) and has been mayor of the city of Pau since 2014. Back in 2017, his endorsement was crucial for Macron, giving the then-upstart candidate credibility in the political center. As president, Macron briefly made him justice minister, and after Michel Barnier was forced out in late 2024, Bayrou was elevated to prime minister to hold together Macron’s fragile coalition. But with his budget collapsing and support evaporating, the man once hailed as a stabilizer is now being blamed for dragging Macron further into crisis. How did one budget plan blow up the PM’s career? In France, governments can invoke Article 49.3 of the Constitution to force a bill through the National Assembly, the lower house of parliament, without a vote. The mechanism has existed since 1958 and is legal, but risky: once Article 49.3 is triggered, opposition lawmakers have 24 hours to file a no-confidence motion. If that motion passes, the government falls. Bayrou’s decision to use 49.3 turned his €44 billion austerity plan into a survival gamble. Bayrou chose confrontation over compromise. By tying his austerity program directly to a confidence vote, he hoped to project resolve. The package included unpopular measures such as cutting public holidays and raising healthcare charges. Instead of rallying deputies behind him, the move united nearly every opposition faction. The far-right National Rally, the Socialists, and the leftist France Unbowed all declared they would vote him out, filing no-confidence motions that set up a showdown on Monday. What was meant to be a show of strength turned into political suicide. Macron without Bayrou – what’s left of his power? If Bayrou falls, Macron is left exposed: he’s going to have to pick between two bad options. He can install a Socialist prime minister to get a budget through parliament, effectively conceding control of domestic policy. Or he can gamble on snap elections, which polls suggest would hand more seats to Le Pen’s National Rally. With Macron’s approval ratings already scraping historic lows, either choice would deepen the sense of a weakened presidency. Commentators warn that if markets lose confidence in France’s ability to control its 5.4% of GDP deficit and 110% debt-to-GDP ratio, the country could face a crisis reminiscent of Britain’s “mini-budget” turmoil under Liz Truss. Where does Bayrou actually stand on Ukraine? On foreign policy, Bayrou has been a vocal supporter of Kiev. In March 2025, he openly criticized Washington for pushing Ukraine to negotiate peace with Moscow, calling such demands “unbearable.” He argued that pushing concessions would humiliate Ukraine’s Vladimir Zelensky and amount to rewarding Russia. Inside Macron’s government, Bayrou has been one of the strongest advocates of sustained European backing for Ukraine, insisting that Paris must stand firm. And Ukraine – what happens when Paris goes quiet? For Kiev, French instability brings real costs. Cash flow: The €3 billion pledged for 2024 but still not disbursed was meant to cover weapons and financial aid. But such spending has to pass through the annual budget. With Bayrou’s plan collapsing and parliament in revolt, securing new funds will be politically and legally harder for any caretaker government. Losing an ally: Bayrou’s exit would strip Kiev of one of its most reliable advocates inside the French cabinet. By contrast, opposition parties – and even voices within Macron’s camp – have been more skeptical of pouring money into Kiev while cutting spending at home. His departure strips Macron of a key advocate inside the cabinet. Security guarantees in limbo: Macron has positioned France as the organizer of the “Coalition of the Willing,” where 26 countries promised postwar guarantees for Ukraine, potentially including a reassurance force. Such a plan requires stable leadership, funding commitments, and parliamentary approval. A government in turmoil cannot push through the legal and financial framework needed to turn pledges into reality. ‘Armed to the teeth’ peace plan: Macron has also announced an extra €6.5 billion in defense spending for 2025-2027, lifting France’s annual budget from about €47 billion in 2024 to €64 billion by 2027 – a roughly 35% increase. This blurs the line between “peace guarantees” and outright militarization, reinforcing Moscow’s argument that Europe’s settlement talk is cover for escalation. If France wobbles, is the EU still ‘united’? The fallout would reach Brussels as well. The EU relies on France, the bloc’s second-largest economy, to underwrite collective aid to Kiev, yet the €3 billion pledge Paris made for 2024 is in doubt. That damages the bloc’s credibility as a reliable funder at a time when Germany is reluctant to shoulder the costs alone. Macron has also styled himself as the champion of “strategic autonomy,” calling together with German Chancellor Friedrich Merz for a stronger European defense role. But as the Financial Times has noted, those ambitions collide with weak finances and political divisions. With France paralyzed, the EU’s claim to speak with one voice looks hollow, and existing rifts – from Hungary’s open skepticism to Slovakia’s resistance on energy and sanctions – are harder to conceal. Bottom line Bayrou’s downfall would leave Macron weaker at home and less credible abroad. France’s ability to anchor the EU’s Ukraine policy looks shaky, Kiev’s guarantees are cast into doubt, and Moscow can argue convincingly that Europe’s talk of peace is inseparable from its rush to militarize. View the full article

By U. Pittsburgh In a study encompassing 13 languages, 12 research teams, and 12 countries over five continents, the same findings cut across a global swath: people prefer self-reliant strategies more than advice-oriented or other strategies. And that common response appeared across multiple cultures and in all the tested sites, suggesting people across the world today favor “inward-looking decision routes” as the norm. The study appears in Proceedings B of The Royal Society Publishing. “It is important to study how people prefer to make choices—by taking advice, by following the wisdom of crowds, by trusting their gut reactions, or by relying on their own reasoning—because these preferences likely influence how people actually make decisions and how they respond to how institutions frame choices for them,” says senior author Edouard Machery, a professor of history and philosophy of science and director of Pitt’s Center for Philosophy of Science. “But we shouldn’t assume a priori that the preferences of the global north are shared by the rest of the world. The inspiration behind the studies in the Geography of Philosophy Project, including this study, is that behavioral scientists should examine concepts and preferences in a thoroughly cross-cultural manner, from small to large societies, from industrial to rural settings, from educated to less-educated populations.” Lead author Igor Grossmann, from Canada’s University of Waterloo, adds that this widespread self-reliance isn’t rooted in education, politics, or religious background. The research teams ranged from Pitt to Rutgers to UCLA, from Ecuador and Peru to Ontario, from South Africa to Morocco, from Serbia to India to Japan. They wrote that the universality of their findings regarding this self-reliance preference requires a rethinking of the long-held premise in cultural psychology about independent and interdependent agency. Even the most interdependent groups in the study showed a leaning toward private deliberation. “Whereas interdependent cultures were more likely to consider advice than independent cultures, even in the most interdependent groups the default response was to ‘go it alone,’ even if it contradicted friends’ or family’s recommendations,” Grossmann says. Machery, whose November publication received international attention when study groups preferred AI-generated poetry to the greats, says what the dozen research teams found most surprising was that there was so little cultural variation in people’s preferences. “One might think that if anything should vary across cultures and environments, it is preferences about how to make a decision, as decisions are arguably made quite differently across cultures. But that appears not to be the case,” he says. “We were also interested by the finding that people had little appetite for the wisdom of crowds despite the fact that often, though not always, following the wisdom of crowds lead to better decisions.” By design, the research posed six everyday dilemmas, among them planting crops or helping a neighbor. Anthropologists, philosophers, and linguists on the widespread research teams collaborated globally and on the ground to better relate to their particular sample study group. Their intention was to find how various peoples and cultures arrived at decisions while allowing for both final decisions based on internal deliberation and for advice or thoughts garnered from others. “We also observed another near-universal tendency: When asking the same people whom they think people from their culture would choose, people were more likely to consider their friends’ advice,” Grossman says. “In other words, while most preferred to make decisions on their own when looking at the decision dilemma through their own eyes, they were more likely to consider their friends’ advice when taking a step back and considering others’ perspectives. This is noteworthy, because—all things being equal—taking a step back and considering advice of others is in fact the wiser strategy in uncertain dilemmas.” Funding for this study came from the John Templeton Foundation, the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada, and Templeton World Charity Foundation. Source: University of Pittsburgh Original Study DOI: 10.1098/rspb.2025.1355 — Previously Published on futurity.org with Creative Commons License *** – The world is changing fast. We help you keep up. We’ll send you 1 post, 3x per week. Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today. All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here. — Photo credit: iStock The post Most People ‘Go It Alone’ to Make Tough Decisions appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

🏡 Don’t buy any Google Home products now: On Oct. 1, looks like at least one new Nest Cam and doorbell with Gemini built in will drop. That means natural language commands, like asking for recipes, getting info on everyday topics and troubleshooting home appliances. And yes, there’ll be both free and paid versions. I’ll keep you posted. The post Don’t buy any Google Home products now appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

You weren’t too much. You weren’t too emotional. You weren’t hard to love. But when you love someone who can’t meet you — emotionally, spiritually, consistently — you start internalizing their limitations as your flaws. You begin to believe the narrative they projected onto you. That love is something you have to earn. That peace is something you have to beg for. That being chosen requires shrinking yourself. It’s time to unlearn that. This isn’t just a love story gone wrong. This is about your relationship with yourself — and how to rewrite the story you tell when someone walks away. Section 1: Where the “Hard to Love” Wound Begins It usually starts before the relationship. Maybe childhood: Where emotional needs were seen as burdens Where love was earned through perfection, performance, or people-pleasing So when you meet someone who avoids, withholds, or minimizes your needs… it feels familiar. It feels like home. You don’t chase them because you’re desperate. You chase because you were conditioned to believe you had to work for love. Section 2: What Being With the Wrong Person Teaches You (Falsely) Being with someone emotionally unavailable teaches you things that are fundamentally untrue: That you’re too intense That needing reassurance is weakness That your boundaries are demands That love is a test, not a sanctuary But their inability to love deeply isn’t proof that you’re too much. It’s proof they’re unequipped. And unequipped love is not a mirror of your worth. Being with someone emotionally unavailable teaches you things that are fundamentally untrue: That you’re too intense That needing reassurance is weakness That your boundaries are demands That love is a test, not a sanctuary But their inability to love deeply isn’t proof that you’re too much. It’s proof they’re unequipped. And unequipped love is not a mirror of your worth. Section 3: How to Know It Was Never About You Being Hard to Love Real love doesn’t: Confuse you Make you beg Keep you guessing When someone is emotionally available and secure, they don’t punish you for having needs. They respond to them. They don’t label your sensitivity as a flaw — they see it as depth. You’re not too much. You’re just too self-aware for someone who hasn’t done the work. Section 4: Healing the Scar of Feeling Unlovable Write a new narrative. Instead of “I’m hard to love,” try “I’ve been loving people who weren’t available to receive it.” Reparent your inner child. Speak to the part of you that learned love had to be earned. Show them that love is their birthright. Choose partners who speak the language of consistency. Emotional safety is the standard now — not the exception. Stop mistaking chaos for chemistry. Familiar doesn’t mean compatible. It just means unhealed. Validate yourself before anyone else. You are allowed to exist fully — without shrinking, performing, or proving. Section 5: You Were Always Lovable — Even When They Didn’t See It Their inability to show up was not a reflection of your value. It was a revelation of their limitations. You were lovable even when: They ghosted They breadcrumbed They withheld affection They blamed you for their distance You were worthy even when it felt like you had to beg for basic things. That wasn’t love. That was survival dressed up in codependency. And now, you’re choosing something different. It Was Never About Your Lovability — It Was About Their Capacity You are not hard to love. You were just loving people who didn’t know how to receive you. Stop explaining your worth to people committed to misunderstanding you. Stop auditioning for love in rooms that require your silence. The next chapter starts with this truth: You are easy to love when you are loved by someone ready for you. And until then — be that someone for yourself. Reclaim the Truth About Your Lovability Subscribe to my Medium and newsletter for weekly reminders of your worth, your healing, and your wholeness. Follow me on Instagram @jennifermcdougall_ for self-affirming posts and nervous system nourishment. Support my writing on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/jenmcdougall Tune in to Life Refined: The Art of Personal Development — my podcast for women reclaiming their wholeness, voice, and boundaries. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not too needy. You’re not too much. You’re just finally too self-aware to keep confusing neglect for love. Let that be the healing. — This post was previously published on medium.com. Love relationships? We promise to have a good one with your inbox. Subcribe to get 3x weekly dating and relationship advice. Did you know? We have 8 publications on Medium. Join us there! Hello, Love (relationships) Change Becomes You (Advice) A Parent is Born (Parenting) Equality Includes You (Social Justice) Greener Together (Environment) Shelter Me (Wellness) Modern Identities (Gender, etc.) Co-Existence (World) *** – Photo credit: Zohre Nemati on Unsplash The post You’re Not Hard to Love — They Were Just Unequipped to Love Deeply appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

Read for free. “He’s going off to college, is he?” the cashier at Target asked after I explained that all the boxes of frozen chicken sandwich sliders were for my son, who would eat them at every meal if I let him. I laughed and shook my head. “Oh, gosh, no! He’s only seven. He’s just moving into his own room.” I could see how she’d come to that conclusion. Some of the other things she’d scanned included a sheet set, tension rod, curtain, clock radio, cleaning wipes… “Ah, he is, is he?” she said. “Yeah, he’s taking over the ‘man cave.’ ” And it was a cave. It was a room in our unfinished basement, where a spaghetti diagram of original wiring — from the time that wiring was first invented (yes, our house was that old) — was tangled behind the present-day cables, wires, and telephone lines which snaked through the tree-trunk ceiling beams (some of which still sported bark). Sure, most of the cement wall was painted, and we’d put a rug with an ample pad underneath it over the cement floor. We’d also vacuumed up all the cobwebs. There was a futon bunk bed and a papa san chair in front of the circa 1980s coffee-table-sized TV set up with the Wii to complete the furnishings. It was as nice as it could be, but it was still most definitely a cave. My youngest had begun sleeping down there from time to time during the summer. It was naturally cool in our otherwise non-centrally air-conditioned home. I am sure the novelty of the new bunk bed and sports-themed pillows and blankets was a factor, as was the proximity of the chest freezer where the freeze pops and Italian ice were stashed. Occasionally, one of his brothers would join him, but he was the only regular. One day, he asked if he could move his room down there. He had been sharing a room with one or both brothers for most of his life, except as an infant when he shared with me. “Maybe, honey…” I stalled. How would that work if anyone else wanted to use the room? Time passed, and he brought it up again. I put him off, “Well, I guess we can see about that…” Would he really be okay that far away from the rest of us? His brothers would be two floors away; I’d be three… Finally, “Can we move my bureau downstairs this weekend, Mom?” “Okay, honey. Yes, we can.” I relented. Apparently, moving was more than a whim. After two nights in his new room and confirming that he’d slept well and liked his new clock radio and that the cat didn’t bother him, I asked, “So, what was the main reason you wanted to move downstairs?” “I just wanted privacy, Mom.” I was slightly taken aback. At his age? I imagined that if anyone had wanted privacy, it would have been one of his middle-school-aged brothers. However, I recalled when one of them was a toddler, he’d demanded, while banging with his little fists on the outside of the closed bathroom door, “But I want privacy, too!” at my refusal to open the door. And while neither of my older two had an open-door policy with the bathroom, they still did with their bedrooms, preferring togetherness over solitude. “I understand completely, honey. Everyone needs his or her own space.” Whether it’s a few minutes alone or a room of one’s own, privacy is one thing you just can’t share. — This post was previously published on medium.com. Love relationships? We promise to have a good one with your inbox. Subcribe to get 3x weekly dating and relationship advice. Did you know? We have 8 publications on Medium. Join us there! Hello, Love (relationships) Change Becomes You (Advice) A Parent is Born (Parenting) Equality Includes You (Social Justice) Greener Together (Environment) Shelter Me (Wellness) Modern Identities (Gender, etc.) Co-Existence (World) *** – Photo credit: Diana Parkhouse on Unsplash The post A Room of His Own appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

Use Guest mode in Chrome: Handing your computer to someone else? Ditch Incognito and go with Guest mode. Unlike Incognito, it’s a totally blank profile, so users won’t see your bookmarks, saved passwords or browsing history suggestions. To access it, click your profile icon in the top right and select Open Guest profile. The post Use Guest mode in Chrome appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

Makin’ a comeback: AirPods are out, tangled cords are in. Celebs like Emma Watson and Harry Styles are bringing back wired headphones, and Gen Z is riding the nostalgia wave straight to 2007. No charging. No losing one earbud at brunch. If your headphones aren’t in an impossible knot, are you even cool? The post Makin’ a comeback appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

The event revives a 400-year-old tradition that was discontinued after the 1917 Revolution Thousands of Orthodox Christians took part in a large procession on Sunday celebrating the Council of Moscow Saints, a Russian Orthodox Church feast honoring the saints of Moscow. The event marks the revival of a tradition that was discontinued after the Russian Revolution in 1917. The march was led by Patriarch Kirill, head of the Russian Orthodox Church, and joined by clergy from the Moscow diocese, monastic communities, and lay believers. Organizers estimated that about 40,000 people took part. Participants came from across Russia and also the Czech Republic, Uzbekistan, Serbia, Italy, and other countries. The march began at the Cathedral of Christ the Savior in central Moscow and proceeded to the Novodevichy Convent 6km away. © Sputnik / Kirill Zykov Videos shared online showed clergy and worshippers carrying colorful banners depicting saints, with crowds chanting the traditional “Christ is risen” and choirs responding “Truly He is risen.” Many sang church hymns as Muscovites lined the streets to watch the procession. © Sputnik / Kirill Zykov The procession was preceded by a service celebrated by Patriarch Kirill at the Cathedral of Christ the Savior. © Sputnik / Kirill Zykov Speaking ahead of the event, the Patriarch said the march underscored Moscow’s role as a capital of Orthodoxy and expressed hope it would restore an ancient tradition. © Sputnik / Kirill Zykov “Moscow is a truly Orthodox capital of our homeland,” he told reporters after the service. “On the one hand, it is a city open to our brothers from other religions, recognizing their contribution to our common history, but at the same time it is a city that will never renounce its Christian heritage.” The procession honors the historic transfer of the Smolensk Icon of the Holy Mother of God from the Kremlin’s Annunciation Cathedral to the Novodevichy Convent, which was founded by Grand Duke Vasily III after the capture of Smolensk in 1525. An annual march was established in memory of the icon transfer and continued for nearly four centuries until the Russian Revolution. View the full article

Christians have done a spectacular job convincing the world they can’t be trusted. I should know, I used to be one of their leaders. When a friend of mine found out that I used to be a pastor, he told me outright, “I just can’t trust you anymore.” That stung. But, at the same time, I sort of understood where he was coming from. Christians have been their own worst enemies when it comes to building goodwill and credibility with the broader community, and pastors are the leaders of Christians. When you’re inside the church bubble, you don’t see how easily your words turn you into a walking red flag for everyone outside it. Instead, you tell yourself that any pushback just proves you’re doing a great job representing Christ and that those “lost sinners” simply can’t handle the truth (or at least, your version of it). Once you leave the church system behind, as I did, you suddenly start to see how there are certain things about Evangelical Christian subculture that range from strange to downright infuriating to the average ‘Joe Heathen’ walking down the street. In fact, there are some people who, when they find out I am a Christian, automatically assume a defensive position, like my friend did, as if their instinctive response is to mistrust me. Here’s the thing, though: Christianity has many wonderful and redeeming qualities. Jesus Christ is history’s preeminent teacher of love, grace, mercy, and compassion. True Christian faith calls us to a radical life of service to the world. It invites us to examine our inner life and expose our pain, disappointment, and our limitations to the healing work of Christ, who repurposes our wounds to become our gift to the planet. The fruit of this work is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And there is nothing offensive about any of those things. However, the wonder of Christianity has been drowned out by the dogma of Christians. The fact of the matter is, if Christians want to be able to have a voice in the public square without being laughed out of town, they need to stop doing and saying certain things. You can be a Christian without seeming like a fool. Oh… and you can do it without compromising your beliefs. Here’s how: 1. Don’t blame Satan for stuff If you want to be a Christian and not seem like a fool, then don’t blame Satan for things. Blaming Satan for something makes you seem weird and superstitious. Here’s an interesting thought: Satan wasn’t blamed for things in the Old Testament. In fact, Satan is hardly even mentioned: You’ll find him only three times. The Old Testament Jews believed that both good things and bad things came from God. How does that mesh with your current theological position? So, when did people start blaming Satan? After Israel fell to the Greek Empire, Greek ideas about dualistic good-vs-evil forces started creeping in, and before long, Satan was getting blamed for everything from your bad mood to your missed promotion. So, next time something goes wrong, maybe don’t blame the devil. Sometimes, life is just hard, and sometimes the only demons you need to face are your own choices. 2. Stop Using the Bible as a Trump Card If you want to be a Christian and not seem like a fool, then don’t use the Bible as your prooftext for everything. Sure, in your opinion, it might be the divinely inspired word of God to you, but to the rest of the world, the Bible is just a book. Using verses from the Bible to support the idea that the Bible is perfect is self-defeating and infuriating to the non-believer. It’s a good book, sure. But instead of insisting every story must be literally true, try reading the Bible archetypally. Treat the stories as windows into the human condition — stories we can all find ourselves in, whether or not they “happened” exactly as written. Did a giant fish really swallow Jonah? Were Adam and Eve historical people? Honestly, how would we even know, and does it actually matter? Not really. The power of Adam and Eve isn’t in proving two naked people wandered around a garden. It’s in what the story reveals about us: our innocence, our shame, our tendency to hide, and our longing for wholeness. When you read the Bible that way, you stop trying to win debates, and start finding truths that connect us all. 3. Ditch the campaign of fear A lot of Christians still think fear is their best marketing strategy: warn people about judgment, condemnation, and the threat of eternal punishment in Hell, and hope their listeners will pray the sinner’s prayer out of sheer terror. Here’s the problem: for most people today, Hell is so toxic and absurd-sounding that the moment you bring it up, you lose them. To someone who’s never cracked open a Bible, talk of pitchforks and eternal fire makes you sound less like Jesus and more like a street-corner evangelist with a cardboard sign. Whatever your views on Hell, ask yourself this: could you make a case for following Jesus without leaning on fear? Could you show people the beauty of his life, his teachings, his compassion for outsiders, his challenge to religious hypocrisy, instead of framing faith as fire insurance? Start with love. Start with the idea that people are already deeply loved and worth redeeming, not hopeless trash that needs to be scared into repentance. When you lead with love instead of threats, you don’t just avoid looking foolish. You actually sound a lot more like Jesus. 4. Don’t use these religious platitudes If you want to be a Christian who doesn’t come across as tone-deaf or fake, it’s time to retire some worn-out religious catchphrases. They include, but are not limited to, the following: I’ll pray for you God has a plan Love the sinner, hate the sin Are you saved? It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve Everything happens for a reason Have faith When God closes a door, he opens a window Sure, some of these sayings are whipped out in times of trouble or crisis and are intended to be conciliatory. However, many people find them infuriating because they are, after all, just words. By all means, send thoughts and prayers. Just make sure you back up your faith with actions as well. 5. Be real about your struggles When I was in church, I somehow picked up the idea that all negative emotions were ungodly. To be a good Christian witness, I thought I had to leave my pain, doubts, and weaknesses at the door and pretend I was always walking in glorious victory. I wasn’t alone. Many Christians still believe they have to be perpetually pleasant and upbeat, as if any crack in their cheerfulness means Christ must not be working in their life. But let’s be honest: life is hard. A lot of the time, it’s brutal. This “good vibes only” approach is just spiritual toxic positivity. And most people can spot fake happiness a mile away — and want nothing to do with it. Here’s a better way: be honest. Be raw. Be real about your pain, your struggles, and your disappointments. People don’t need perfect Christians; they need honest ones. After all, the same man Christians follow was humiliated, beaten, and hung naked on a cross for all to see. Maybe he knew that shamelessly exposing our wounds is exactly how we become agents of healing for others. 6. Don’t play the victim card Christians need to stop brushing off criticism by claiming, “People just hate us because we stand for the truth.” Let’s be honest: a lot of the pushback we get is fair. Instead of acting persecuted, we should listen, own what’s true, and have the humility to change. Complaining about supposed threats to “religious freedom” or predicting some imaginary future where Bibles are banned and pastors thrown in prison doesn’t help anyone take us seriously. And here’s the hard truth: when a community that has caused real harm turns around and calls itself the victim, it rightly frustrates people. We gain far more respect when we admit our faults than when we claim we’re under attack. 7. Don’t moralize people who aren’t Christianized Christian morals are for Christians. Period. Yes, there are basic moral truths, like “don’t steal, don’t murder, don’t lie,” that most people everywhere agree on. But much of what’s in the Bible is written for people who have chosen to follow its way of life. You might believe Christian values are the best values, and that’s fine. But trying to force them on people who don’t share your faith is guaranteed to backfire. It feels pushy and patronizing, and it rarely changes hearts. Hold your convictions tightly. Live them well. Let your actions speak louder than your moral lectures. But don’t expect people who don’t follow Jesus to live by the same standards you do. That’s not their job. It’s yours. If you want your faith to be compelling, show people the difference it makes in your own life, not by policing theirs. 8. Don’t speak in tongues in public… like, ever! Speaking or praying in tongues is a religious practice performed by charismatic Christians where they spontaneously vocalize their speaking or praying in a language that is neither their own nor one that they have learned. Those who believe in the practice swear that it can be a deeply spiritual and life-changing experience, but to everyone else, it sounds downright weird. So, if you must pray this way, do it in the privacy of your own home. 9. Don’t assume you are better than anyone else I read an Instagram post by a popular fundamentalist preacher that said: “The truth sets people free, and I am thankful that the grace of God has changed me.” Take a moment to appreciate the self-congratulatory tone. This is another way of saying, “I’ve got the truth! Hooray for me!” The thing is, the truth is universally available to everyone. Christ is universally available to everyone. And Christians are by no means the best Christians out there. There are plenty of non-Christians living more Christian lives than many Christians are. To be a reasonable Christian, assume you are no better than the next guy, no more enlightened, no more saved, and no more good. 10. Assume that everyone has something to teach you One of the worst attitudes a Christian can have goes something like this: “I have the truth. You don’t. I’m saved and enlightened. You’re lost and in the dark. You need what I have, but I don’t need anything from you.” That posture shuts down real conversation and makes you impossible to learn from or live with. Here’s the reality: neither the Bible nor Christians owns the truth. If something is true, it’s true for everyone, everywhere, whether it’s spoken by a Christian, a Jew, a Muslim, a Sikh, an atheist, or your neighbour who’s never set foot in a church. If you want to be a Christian who doesn’t look arrogant or clueless, stay teachable. Trust that Jesus can speak to you through anyone, at any time, even people you completely disagree with. Listen well. Be curious. Never assume you can’t learn from someone just because they don’t share your beliefs. The moment you think you have nothing left to learn is the moment you stop being wise, or Christlike. The best of Christianity is not offensive At the end of the day, the very best of Christianity is not offensive to the rest of the world. Loving one’s neighbor is not offensive Caring for the poor and needy is not offensive. Showing grace and compassion to others is not offensive. The idea that all people are beloved sons and daughters of God and, therefore, worthy of love, respect, and esteem is not offensive either. But if you want the world to see the best of Christianity, you have to confront the worst. Where Christians are judgmental, closed-minded, aloof, fake, or dismissive of others, they will always be met with resistance. It’s then you hear what I did: “I just can’t trust you anymore.” Honestly? I don’t blame my friend for saying it. We’ve given the world too many reasons not to trust us. So here’s the challenge: if you want people to see the best of Jesus, confront the worst in yourself first. Drop the fear. Drop the fake piety. Drop the superiority. And let your life speak for itself. A faith that looks like love is hard to resist and impossible to distrust for all that long. — This post was previously published on Backyard Church. *** You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project You Said ‘Race’, but Are You Actually Talking About Race? Understanding the Nonbinary: Are You Confusing Gender With Sex? The Difference Between Compassion for Those With Disabilities & Ableism? ‘Masculinity’ Is Having an Identity Crisis Subscribe to The Good Men Project Newsletter Email Address * Subscribe If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member today. All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here. 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