American Women Suck

The Hungarian prime minister says Ukraine should be split into areas controlled by Russia and the West, separated by a buffer zone Partitioning Ukraine into Russian and Western zones of influence is the likely outcome of the conflict and the only reliable guarantee of the EU's security, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban has said. Kiev has pressed its Western backers for security guarantees as a precondition for a settlement with Russia, first pushing for NATO membership and later floating ideas such as ‘peacekeepers’ and a buffer zone with Western military patrols. Moscow has rejected Ukrainian membership in NATO or Western troops on its territory, stressing that any settlement must include Kiev’s neutrality, demilitarization, and recognition of Crimea, Donetsk, Lugansk, Kherson, and Zaporozhye as Russian territory. Orban, however, has suggested it is time for the West to acknowledge Russia’s “inevitable” military victory and to begin deciding how Ukraine should be partitioned. ”Europeans all so elegantly talk around security guarantees, but the security guarantee actually means the division of Ukraine,” Orban told guests at the annual Civic Picnic in Kotcse on Sunday. “The first step has already been taken – the Westerners have accepted that a Russian zone exists.” He referred to earlier remarks by US President Donald Trump that Ukraine regaining Crimea was “impossible.” “The result would be a Russian zone, a demilitarized zone and, eventually, a Western zone…The only question is how many kilometers away from the border of the Russian zone a demilitarized zone should be established,” he stated. Orban noted the outcome would only slightly differ from the pre-conflict balance, when Ukraine itself acted as a buffer between Russia and NATO with “50% influence” each in the country. He said this division would help end the conflict and benefit all sides, particularly the EU, which he warned is on the verge of “collapse” and lacks the means to fund the conflict further. The Hungarian leader has long criticized Brussels over its “warmongering” stance on Russia and support for Ukraine. In his speech, he repeated his warning that Ukraine’s EU accession would trap the bloc in a permanent conflict with Moscow, calling instead for an EU-Russia security pact. View the full article

With special guest Kenji Yoshino Kenji Yoshino is the Chief Justice Earl Warren Professor of Constitutional Law at the NYU School of Law and the Director of the Meltzer Center for Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging. He is the author of the new book Say the Right Thing. On this episode we discuss how to shift from a cancel culture to a coaching culture. Moving from Cancel Culture to Coaching Culture This podcast episode features Kenji Yoshino, the Chief Justice Earl Warren Professor of Constitutional Law at NYU School of Law and Director of the Meltzer Center for Diversity, Inclusion, and Belonging. Yoshino shares his journey from civil rights law to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) work, noting his realization that while law is effective for “brute force” changes, cultural work is essential for addressing more nuanced forms of discrimination and achieving true inclusion. He co-founded the Meltzer Center with David Glasgow six years ago, driven by a passion for building beyond the legal “floor” of civil rights. The conversation highlights their latest book, “Say the Right Thing: How to Talk About Identity, Diversity, and Justice,” which addresses the fear many aspiring allies have of “saying the wrong thing” and getting “cancelled”. Yoshino argues for a shift from a “cancel culture” to a “coaching culture,” where mistakes are viewed as learning opportunities. He introduces their “traffic light” scale for disagreements (red, yellow, green zones), providing guidance on when and how to engage in difficult conversations about identity and DEI. The discussion also covers their 4R’s framework for crafting effective apologies: recognition, responsibility, remorse, and redress, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and a commitment to future behavioral change. Finally, Yoshino provides practical “call-in” phrases for addressing microaggressions in real-time, encouraging allies to choose authentic responses and act promptly rather than delaying. He concludes by expressing concern over current legal impediments to DEI initiatives, seeing law as a “ceiling that threatens to crush” progress, and calls for mobilization to counter these threats Key Takeaways: Law as a Floor, Culture as the Build: While legal frameworks provide a foundational “floor” for civil rights, sustained diversity and inclusion require cultural work to address subtle discrimination and achieve true belonging. Shift from Cancel to Coaching Culture: To encourage allyship, it’s crucial to move away from an indiscriminately punitive “cancel culture” towards a “coaching culture” that supports learning from mistakes and offers practical tools for improvement. Navigating Disagreements: Utilize the “traffic light” scale (red, yellow, green) to assess the appropriateness of engaging in disagreements on DEI topics. Understand that some issues are non-negotiable (“red zone”), while others are open for debate (“green zone”) or require careful consideration (“yellow zone”). Effective Apologies: Craft genuine apologies using the 4R’s framework: recognition (fully acknowledging harm), responsibility (taking ownership without excuses), remorse (showing authentic sorrow), and redress (committing to changed future conduct). “Call-In” Phrases for Microaggressions: Develop and practice a few authentic, short, and sharp “call-in” phrases (e.g., “Ouch,” “Yikes,” “I see things differently, could I explain my perspective?”) to address inappropriate comments in real-time and affirm the person while criticizing the conduct. Addressing Legal Threats to DEI: Be mindful of and mobilize against increasing legal challenges and impediments to DEI initiatives, as current legal developments threaten to undermine progress. Actionable Allyship Takeaway: Actively practice and keep a few “call-in” phrases in your “back pocket” that feel authentic to you, to address microaggressions or inappropriate comments in real-time, fostering a coaching culture by affirming the person while clearly addressing the problematic conduct, rather than letting moments pass due to fear or hesitation. Follow Kenji’s work at https://kenjiyoshino.com/KY/ and find Julie at https://www.nextpivotpoint.com/ Full Episode Transcript Available Here — This post was previously published on Next Pivot Point. *** You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project: White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box Why I Don’t Want to Talk About Race What We Talk About When We Talk About Men Subscribe to The Good Men Project Newsletter Email Address * Subscribe If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member today. All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here. Photo credit: iStock The post Moving From Cancel Culture to Coaching Culture With Kenji Yoshino appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

The US president has urged the Palestinian militant group to accept a deal to release Israeli hostages in Gaza US President Donald Trump has issued a “last warning” to Hamas, demanding the Palestinian militant group release Israeli hostages held in Gaza. Trump warned of unspecified consequences if Hamas refuses to cooperate, in a post on his Truth Social platform on Sunday. “The Israelis have accepted my terms. It is time for Hamas to accept as well. I have warned Hamas about the consequences of not accepting. This is my last warning,” the US president said without providing further details. Hours after Trump made the remarks, Israeli Defense Minister Israel Katz threatened Hamas with annihilation and demanded the Palestinian militants lay down their arms. “This is a final warning to the Hamas murderers and rapists in Gaza and in luxury hotels abroad: Release the hostages and put down your weapons – or Gaza will be destroyed and you will be annihilated,” Katz wrote on X. Hamas has signaled readiness to “immediately sit at the negotiating table” after hearing what it described as “some ideas from the American side aimed at reaching a ceasefire agreement.” The latest “last warning” echoed a threat made by Trump in March, when he urged Hamas to immediately release all the living hostages and turn over the bodies of the deceased or end up “dead.” Hamas took around 250 people hostage during the October 7, 2023 surprise attack on southern Israel that left at least 1,200 people dead and prompted the ongoing conflict in Gaza. The group is believed to still hold in custody nearly 50 of them, with around half presumed to still be alive. The conflict, which has dragged on for nearly two years, has taken a heavy toll on the Palestinian enclave, leaving at least 64,000 dead, according to the local health authorities. Israeli military ground operations and heavy artillery and aerial bombardment caused widespread destruction across Gaza and displaced most of its residents. View the full article

🍏 Apple’s iDrop: Tomorrow at 1 p.m. ET / 10 a.m. PT, Apple will roll out its new, smarter Siri, along with the ultralight iPhone 17 Air, base iPhone 17, 17 Pro and 17 Pro Max. We’ll also see Apple Watches and smart home gear. Stream it on YouTube or Apple’s site. I’m just hoping the iRon will work with the iWash, iCook and iClean network. (That was so bad, it was so good!) The post Apple’s iDrop appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

That’s how much Google owes for ignoring your “do not track” setting. Apparently, when you said “no thanks” to being tracked, Google heard “just a little bit.” The fine’s big, but considering the plaintiffs asked for $31 billion, it’s more of a slap than a shutdown. The post $425 million appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

— Men often face significant hurdles when trying to maintain consistent fitness routines. Common obstacles include time constraints and a lack of motivation, both of which can derail even the most determined individuals. Innovative solutions, like gym membership management software, can help overcome these barriers by offering structured scheduling and personalized reminders. Balancing personal and professional commitments can make it challenging for men to prioritize their health and fitness goals. Despite good intentions, time constraints and motivation gaps often hinder consistency in fitness routines. Finding practical solutions to stay on track is crucial, as maintaining an active lifestyle is vital for overall well-being. With the advancement of technology, there are now innovative tools designed to assist in overcoming these common challenges, such as gym membership management software. Understanding fitness challenges The modern man juggles numerous responsibilities that often leave little room for personal fitness. Busy schedules filled with work obligations, family duties, and social commitments can make it difficult to find time for exercise. As a result, physical health may become a secondary priority, leading to inconsistent workout routines. This inconsistency can be frustrating and demotivating, especially when progress stalls. In addition to time constraints, motivation plays a significant role in achieving fitness goals. The initial enthusiasm for starting a new workout regimen can quickly wane without the right support system in place. Men often struggle with maintaining the discipline needed to keep up with regular exercise. This lack of motivation is a key factor contributing to the abandonment of fitness goals. Finding ways to integrate fitness into daily life despite these challenges is essential. Technology offers viable solutions that address these specific barriers by providing structured guidance and accountability measures. Understanding these challenges is the first step towards developing effective strategies that ensure consistency and progress in fitness routines. Technology’s impact on fitness Technological advancements have transformed how individuals approach fitness, offering tools that make it easier to maintain regular exercise routines. One such innovation is gym membership management software, which provides users with personalized workout plans and reminders tailored to their schedules. These tools simplify the process of planning workouts and ensure that users stay committed to their fitness journeys. By integrating these technological solutions into daily life, men can more effectively manage their time and resources dedicated to fitness. The automation of scheduling workouts removes much of the guesswork associated with planning exercise sessions. This leads to increased adherence to workout regimens as individuals receive timely reminders and updates on their progress. Moreover, these innovative tools offer a level of personalization that traditional methods lack. Users can set specific goals and track their achievements over time, fostering a sense of accomplishment that further motivates them to stay consistent. Technology thus plays a pivotal role in reshaping how men approach their health and wellness. Creating structured workout plans Implementing structured workout plans is critical for achieving long-term fitness goals. Innovative tools provide users with the ability to create comprehensive schedules that outline daily or weekly exercise routines. These plans take into account individual preferences and availability, ensuring that workouts are feasible and sustainable over time. Timely reminders are another feature offered by these technologies that help users remain accountable. Notifications prompt individuals to adhere to their schedules, minimizing the risk of procrastination or forgetfulness. This level of structure provides the discipline needed to form lasting habits around physical activity. These tools also allow for adjustments based on evolving needs or preferences. Flexibility in modifying workout plans ensures that users remain engaged without feeling overwhelmed or restricted by rigid routines. Such adaptability is crucial for maintaining motivation and preventing burnout. Accountability in fitness journeys Accountability is a crucial component in realizing fitness aspirations. Having a mechanism in place that tracks progress keeps users motivated by highlighting achievements and identifying areas needing improvement. Technological solutions enable detailed tracking of workouts, calories burned, and other key metrics essential for monitoring progress. This transparency fosters self-awareness regarding one’s health journey, allowing users to make informed decisions about their routines. By seeing tangible results over time, individuals are more likely to remain motivated and committed to their goals. Furthermore, sharing progress with peers or communities through these platforms enhances accountability through social support networks. Engaging with others who share similar objectives creates an environment where encouragement thrives, pushing individuals towards achieving their targets more effectively. — This content is brought to you by membersolutions.com Photo provided by the author. The post Streamlining Fitness Routines with Innovative Tools appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

As recently as five years ago, courageous folks who dared to name and investigate what’s really happening in our social and ecological worlds were labelled ‘alarmists’ or ‘doomers.’ The consensus was that these ‘doomsayers’ were antisocial, misguided, dangerous, and wrong. But there is a thing called ‘reality’ — and reality has a funny way of intruding into our willful (and often delusional) human affairs and denial. No matter how hard we try (and try and try, endlessly) to reassure ourselves that everything is OK and things will ‘work out’ in the end, our actual reality keeps rearing its ugly (or beautiful?) head and screaming, “Do you see it yet? Do you get it yet?” Sadly, terrifyingly — humanity as a whole is not ‘getting it.’ The great refusal You may be asking, “What the hell is he talking about?” It’s quite simple, really. I’m talking about the fact that much of the world — especially the U.S. — is turning its back on most of the social, ecological, political, and scientific advances of the past 80+ years. The dominant ‘powers that be’ are sucking our planet dry, wringing every last ‘resource’ from Her, and in the process… leaving only a desiccated, collapsing shell for future generations. For decades, the ‘doomers’ sounded the alarm about climate disruption, plastic pollution, overpopulation, and vast social and economic inequities — but all along, we were either ignored or scorned. Even worse, sometimes the ‘powers that be’ appeared to be paying attention and gave lip service to the concerns we were raising. They often acted as if they, too, were concerned and would DO something to address our realistic concerns. Then, they almost always turned around, capitulated to ‘business as usual,’ and reneged on positive necessary action. The foremost — and most telling — example is the utter failure of our global ‘climate initiatives’ designed to slow down climate disruption. (The bland term ‘climate change’ is intentionally inadequate; it’s the term preferred by the fossil fuel industry.) For the last 30+ years, the nations of the world have gathered annually for the so-called ‘COP’ (conference of parties) meetings, with the stated goal of agreeing on emissions reductions and enacting real reforms and rules. Yet, not once have these goals been met. Never. Even when nations have ‘agreed’ to certain limits or rules regarding CO2 emissions — such as capping emissions and defining an ‘acceptable’ amount of warming — there has been NO agreement on how to do this. Thus, there has been little follow-through and NO meaningful action. Meanwhile, reality keeps ‘acting out’ around us. It’s screaming loudly in our faces as climate disasters, floods, droughts, heat waves, and massive storms keep intensifying. The real world keeps intruding on our delusional, ‘separate’ (from nature) human societies, and in effect disproves and destroys all our arrogant, human-centered illusions. The pure insanity of ‘climate denial’ There’s a whole other layer to this accelerating social and ecological disaster: ‘climate change denial.’ This added, c-r-a-z-y layer was quietly developing for many years, but then burst out into the open in the late 2010s. Its basic tenet is rejection of established scientific consensus and public efforts to rein in accelerating climate disruptions. It reached its peak over the past few years when climate denialism became accepted ‘public policy’ for the GOP and MAGA. Not content with mere denial, there’s also a growing, vast subset of active, destructive ‘climate deniers’ — including Trump. These folks willfully proclaim that nothing will stop or slow our ‘progress,’ so we’re pushing ‘full steam ahead’ to keep mining, logging, drilling, and building data centers (huge energy hogs) and new power plants. This mindset pits humanity against nature — and discounts all ecological and climatological data as ‘insignificant’ or downright harmful. That’s right. In this view, scientific information and climate data merely get in the way of our human plans and desires — so we have to get rid of them. It’s basically a new form of ‘kill the messenger’. We’re supposed to stop worrying about stupid nonsense like the climate and our environment and just “Drill, baby, drill!” In this area, the ‘alarmists’ and ‘doomers’ have been completely correct. And, the insane, science-rejecting beliefs and actions people are now enacting are both disastrous and delusional. In this area, especially, the ‘alarmists’ are now the only realists — swept aside by a vast tide of illusion, greed, and idiocy. Our rapid capitulation to Trump’s ‘hostile takeover’ of America Here’s another potent example: the pathetic response and capitulation to Trump’s ‘hostile takeover’ of the U.S. Back in 2017, a group of 37 psychiatrists banded together to publish an extraordinary book titled “The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump.” (It’s sitting on my bookshelf.) During Trump’s first administration, many diverse public servants, advisors, Cabinet members, and even generals who worked with Trump repeatedly warned the nation about his tyrannical ambitions and overall unfitness for office. There was a steady stream of anguished warnings about Trump’s character, amorality, racism, narcissism, and vengefulness. None of these dire warnings made the slightest difference. Then, we endured the divisive, bizarre 2020 election. In the post-election period from Nov. 3, 2020, to the time of Biden’s inauguration on Jan. 20, 2021, Trump kept spreading vile, dangerous conspiracy theories that the election was ‘stolen,’ fraud was rampant, and he was still the ‘real’ president. Then he instigated and directly fomented a huge insurrection at our Capitol on Jan. 6 that ended up killing several people and caused the Congress to shut down and hide from the violent mob. Only later that night was Congress able to reconvene and certify Biden’s win. Undeterred, Trump never conceded the election and kept saying it was ‘stolen.’ During Biden’s term, from early 2021 to January ‘25, Trump continued speaking and acting with total impunity. He undermined and trashed Biden’s presidency and legally appealed — endlessly — all the various indictments and court rulings against him. He kept himself in the forefront of America’s attention and the news cycle, even while out of office. Hell, he was probably in the news more than Biden! Meanwhile, the U.S. and the world were treated to the horrific spectacle of the GOP, one of our two primary political parties, fully surrendering and capitulating to Trump. Despite all his baggage and awful policy ideas — and his criminal conviction — the GOP chose to align with this terrible human being and make him their presidential candidate again. And despite all his baggage, criminal behavior, accusations of sexual assault, and an endless stream of warnings from ‘alarmists,’ he won. Again. Press enter or click to view image in full size David TrinksUnsplash A much more dangerous ‘reality’ Everyone knows, by now, what happened next. Trump swept into office on Jan. 20, 2025, hit the ground running, issued a long string of tyrannical ‘edicts’ (executive orders), and initiated a barrage of tyranny and ‘strong man’ tactics that continue today. All the frantic warnings fell on deaf ears. Today, the situation in the U.S. is far worse than during his first term. Trump and the GOP are eradicating anything remotely ‘woke’ (that is, compassionate, caring, or ecologically sound) from U.S. policy. They are also utilizing terror-inducing police-state tactics to round up and deport illegal immigrants. In response, the same group of psychiatrists and psychologists — plus many new ones — released a new book with the ominous title “The Much More Dangerous Case of Donald Trump.” Of course, no one is paying attention or listening. And of course, things in the U.S. just keep getting… worse. Now, Trump and MAGA are going after and persecuting the judiciary. They’re trying to destroy the last bulwark of American democracy, which is the last thing standing between him and unlimited autocratic power. To quote a CNN.com article: “Six months into Donald Trump’s second term, his administration is at war with the federal judiciary, evading court orders blocking its agenda, suing judges for alleged misconduct, and veering toward what multiple current and former federal judges say could be a constitutional crisis.” Except, I’d say we’re already IN a massive and prolonged ‘constitutional crisis.’ We’re not “veering toward” something awful that “could” happen. We’re deep into it. And due to Trump’s bizarre, on-again/off-again tariffs and his Big, Horrible (debt-exploding) Bill, dire economic and healthcare crises are also brewing. They’re already unfolding — but we’re still in denial because the awful effects haven’t fully hit home yet. Our crazed, upside-down ‘reality’ These are just two examples out of many others (such as the intensifying ‘war on truth’ and accelerating MAGA/GOP attacks on ‘wokeness’ and diversity, equity, and inclusion). The two examples I explored reveal that the alarmists and concerned ‘warners’ tried hard for many years — but utterly failed. Instead, a new, toxic era of denial, deceit, and delusion was ushered in. Thus, we live in a bizarre, painful upside-down ‘reality.’ We now live in a world where absurd fictions are truth, pollution is acceptable, amorality masquerades as morality, and accelerating climate disruptions are either normalized or altogether denied. This is the (insane) world the right-wing ‘realists’ among us have created. It’s the triumph of delusion, greed, and racist, hateful nonsense. Regarding our near future: it looks really bad. For as far as our inner ‘eyes’ can see, the fools, haters, and delusional idiots have decisively won (for now). The only true realists left standing are the ‘alarmists’ that everyone is busily ignoring. — Previously Published on Medium iStock featured image The post It’s Official: Yesterday’s ‘Alarmists’ Are Today’s Only Realists appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

🔍 Track down contact info: Type “Jane Doe” with keywords like “email, phone or profile” into Google. If you know where they work, narrow it down with “Jane Doe” site:company.com. For social media, try site:linkedin.com Jane Doe, site:facebook.com Jane Doe or site:instagram.com Jane Doe. Still nothing? Reverse image search. The post Track down contact info appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

The bloc might not survive without reform and an end to the Ukraine conflict, the Hungarian PM believes The EU is on the verge of collapse and will not survive beyond the next decade without a “fundamental structural overhaul” and disentanglement from the Ukraine conflict, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban has warned. Speaking on Sunday at the annual Civic Picnic in Kotcse, Orban said the EU has failed to meet its founding ambition of becoming a global power and cannot handle current challenges due to the absence of a common fiscal policy. He described the bloc as entering a phase of “chaotic and costly disintegration,” and warned that the 2028-2035 EU budget “could be the last if nothing changes.” “The EU is currently on the verge of falling apart and has entered a state of fragmentation. And if this continues like this… it will go down in history as the depressing end result of a once noble experiment,” Orban stated. He proposed transforming the EU into “concentric circles.” The outer ring would include countries cooperating on military and energy security, the second circle would comprise common market members, the third would contain those sharing a currency, while the innermost would include members seeking deeper political alignment. In Orban’s view, this would broaden cooperation without restricting development. “This means that we are in the same car, we have one gearbox, but we want to move at different paces… If we can switch to this system, the great idea of European cooperation… could survive,” he said. Orban accused Brussels of overreliance on common debt and of using the Ukraine conflict as a pretext to continue this policy. As long as the conflict lasts, the EU will remain a “lame duck,” dependent on the US for security and unable to act independently in economic affairs, he said. Orban also suggested that instead of “lobbying in Washington,” the EU should “go to Moscow” to pursue a security agreement with Russia, followed by an economic deal. Orban is not alone in his concerns. Analysts from the International Monetary Fund and other institutions have warned that the EU risks stagnation and even collapse due to structural challenges, weak growth, poor investment, high energy costs, and geopolitical tensions. View the full article

The newspaper claimed that the British island of Jersey had launched criminal proceedings against Roman Abramovich Representatives of Roman Abramovich have denied a Guardian report claiming that the British dependency of Jersey has launched criminal proceedings against the Russian businessman. His spokesman said the article is “misleading” and aimed at smearing him by suggesting he is under investigation for corruption and sanctions evasion. According to The Guardian report, Jersey, which is located in the Channel Islands, is pursuing Abramovich over alleged corruption tied to the 2005 $13 billion sale of oil company Sibneft and possible sanctions breaches after 2022. The paper cited Swiss Federal Criminal Court rulings from May that authorized the release of banking records from Swiss institutions to Jersey’s Attorney General as part of the probe. It has also noted that Jersey has frozen more than $7 billion worth of assets linked to Abramovich since March 2022. Abramovich’s lawyers have denied the allegations that he is facing criminal charges. They emphasized that even the Jersey courts have confirmed there are no proceedings against him. “We regret to note that The Guardian has decided to violate Mr Abramovich’s rights and publish these unsubstantiated, completely misleading and discrediting allegations,” a representative told TASS. Abramovich, born in the Russian city of Saratov, became widely known in the West as the owner of the football club Chelsea, which he sold in 2022 after being sanctioned in Britain for alleged Kremlin ties. The Guardian report has coincided with renewed pressure exerted by London for Abramovich to transfer the proceeds from the Chelsea sale to Ukraine. The UK government has demanded that he release £2.5 billion ($3.4 billion) from the deal to Kiev. Foreign Secretary David Lammy has warned that legal action could follow if he refuses. Western states have imposed sweeping sanctions since 2022, freezing more than $300 billion of Russia’s international reserves and targeting wealthy individuals accused of benefiting from the conflict. Moscow has condemned the measures, calling the seizures “outright theft” and threatening reciprocal action against Western assets in Russia. View the full article

New #research highlights how #deforestation for #mining, and oil #palmoil expansion are pushing rare species of #wildlife at #Indonesia’s #LakePoso to the brink. This unique ecosystem, home to critically endangered #fish and other endemic wildlife, is rapidly disappearing due to human-driven habitat destruction. Local indigenous communities and conservationists are calling for urgent action to halt the devastation. Protecting these species means addressing extractive industries head-on. Every action counts—use your purchasing power to support indigenous-led conservation and #BoycottPalmOil #Boycott4Wildlife. #News: #research finds Lake Poso of #Indonesia’s rare species of #animals #plants are vanishing due to #mining and #palmoil #deforestation. #Indigenous people are resisting. Use your wallet to fight back #BoycottPalmOil #Boycott4Wildlife https://wp.me/pcFhgU-a5p Share to BlueSky Share to Twitter Deforestation and Mining Destroying Indonesia’s Lake Poso Ecosystem New research led by advocacy organisation WAHLI reveals alarming habitat destruction at Indonesia’s Lake Poso, a freshwater biodiversity hotspot under threat from deforestation, mining, and expanding palm oil plantations. This fragile ecosystem, which supports critically endangered fish and endemic species, is being wiped out at an unprecedented rate due to human exploitation. Lake Poso: A Unique Ecosystem Under Siege Lake Poso is one of Indonesia’s oldest and most ecologically significant lakes, supporting species found nowhere else on Earth. The lake and its surrounding forests provide refuge for a variety of endemic fish, amphibians, and invertebrates that have adapted to its isolated conditions over millennia. However, aggressive mining operations, large-scale deforestation, and industrial palm oil plantations are driving habitat loss at a staggering pace. According to scientists, the destruction of Lake Poso’s ecosystem could have catastrophic consequences. The removal of forests destabilises water quality and eliminates the natural breeding grounds for fish and other aquatic species. Additionally, mining activity is releasing heavy metals into the water, poisoning fragile ecosystems and endangering both wildlife and local communities that depend on the lake for their livelihoods. Palm Oil and Nickel Mining: The Drivers of Destruction Palm oil expansion and mining are the main forces behind Lake Poso’s environmental crisis. Land clearing for oil palm plantations results in mass deforestation, stripping away the region’s biodiversity and leading to irreversible soil erosion. Mining operations, including nickel extraction, further compound the damage by leaching toxic chemicals into the environment. Experts warn that without immediate intervention, endemic species could face extinction within years. Several critically endangered fish, unique to Lake Poso, are already experiencing severe population declines due to pollution and habitat destruction. Local Communities and Activists Demand Urgent Action Indigenous communities and environmental activists are fighting to protect Lake Poso’s biodiversity. Grassroots movements are pushing for stronger regulations against deforestation, mining, and palm oil expansion. However, corporate interests and weak enforcement of environmental laws continue to enable destructive industries to operate unchecked. Protecting Lake Poso’s rare species requires bold action, including rejecting products linked to deforestation, supporting indigenous-led conservation efforts, and holding corporations accountable. Consumers can make a difference by choosing ethical products and avoiding goods containing palm oil. Take Action! Use your wallet as a weapon against deforestation. Choose indigenous-led conservation and agroecology. Support sustainable alternatives, demand accountability, and take a stand against corporate destruction of Lake Poso’s irreplaceable ecosystem. #BoycottPalmOil #Boycott4Wildlife. Kimbrough, L. (2025, January 22). Rising deforestation threatens rare species in Indonesia’s ancient Lake Poso. Mongabay News. Retrieved from https://news.mongabay.com/2025/01/mining-and-palm-oil-drive-deforestation-threaten-rare-species-at-indonesias-lake-poso/ Kaban, S., Ditya, Y. C., Makmur, S., Fatah, K., Wulandari, T. N., Dwirastina, M., … Samuel, S. (2023). Water quality and trophic status to estimate fish production potential for sustainable fisheries in Lake Poso, Central Sulawesi. Polish Journal of Environmental Studies, 32(5), 4083-4093. doi:10.15244/pjoes/168102 Damanik, A., Janssen, D. J., Tournier, N., Stelbrink, B., Von Rintelen, T., Haffner, G. D., … Vogel, H. (2024). Perspectives from modern hydrology and hydrochemistry on a lacustrine biodiversity hotspot: Ancient Lake Poso, Central Sulawesi, Indonesia. Journal of Great Lakes Research, 50(3), 102254. doi:10.1016/j.jglr.2023.102254 ENDS — This post was previously published on Palm Oil Detectives and is republished on Medium. — Subscribe to The Good Men Project Newsletter Email Address * Subscribe If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member today. All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here. — Photo credit: iStock The post Deforestation and Mining Threaten Rare Species at Lake Poso appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

🔌 Go ahead, walk into an EV dealership and ask how much they charge: So here’s the scoop: People are picking up brand-new electric cars for less than $100/month. One guy leased a $65,000 Kia EV9 for $189. It’s all because tax credits are about to expire on Sept. 30, and dealers are basically handing out keys like coupons. If your car’s dying, run, don’t walk to your local EV dealer. The post Go ahead, walk into an EV dealership and ask how much they charge appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

The countries plan to open market access to boost mutual trade and investment Russia and the United Arab Emirates (UAE) have reached a major economic agreement designed to stimulate bilateral trade and investment by lowering export-related costs and easing market access, Kommersant has reported. The agreement will simplify conditions for service providers and reduce expenses linked to transport and other cross-border activities, the outlet said on Sunday, citing the Russian Economic Development Ministry. Officials identified finance, transport, wholesale and retail trade, manufacturing, and mining as promising areas for cooperation. The treaty opens 64 Emirati sectors to Russian businesses, ranging from research and development to ship and aircraft repair, rail transport, computer services, and legal services. In some areas, such as engineering and passenger maritime transport, Russian stakes will be capped at 70%. Companies will also be able to establish banks, healthcare institutions, and news agencies in UAE special economic zones. In exchange, Emirati firms will gain access to 12 Russian service sectors, including healthcare, education and hospitality. Additionally they will be permitted to open retail outlets in Russia. The agreement also removes restrictions on transfers and payments related to services and trade. Officials stated that this provision is expected to significantly increase exports and mutual investment flows. The pact includes cooperation in logistics, which both sides said could boost the International North-South Transport Corridor, linking Russia with the Middle East, East Africa, and South Asia. The corridor is viewed as a key route for diversifying transport flows and expanding regional trade. Mutual trade in services between Russia and the UAE amounted to $14 billion in 2024, according to ministry data. Moscow expects exports of services to the UAE to double by 2030, with imports rising at a similar pace. The ministry also forecasts that accumulated Russian investment in the UAE will grow fourfold to $25 billion and Emirati investment in Russia will double from the 2024 levels to $17 billion. View the full article

A client recently said to me, “If I let myself feel this sadness, I’m afraid I’ll never stop crying.” Another described his anger as a monster locked inside him, one he was terrified might destroy everything if he let it out. Again and again, I hear the same quiet confession in different words: I’m afraid of myself. It isn’t just the fear of what life might throw at us. Often the greater fear is what lies within us – the emotions we’re trying to keep a lid on, the parts of ourselves we’ve judged, the power we’ve learned to mistrust. We keep these parts hidden, not only from the world but from ourselves, because to let them out feels dangerous. What if sadness drowns me? What if anger ruins me? What if stepping fully into who I am changes me into someone I don’t want to be? This is what I call the fear of yourself. It shows up in many guises. Sometimes it’s the person who swallows their words in meetings because they’ll say the ‘wrong’ thing or that their passion might come across as aggression. Sometimes it’s the parent who never allows themselves to admit having emotions to their children, thinking it will make them appear weak. Sometimes it’s the professional who holds back from a bigger role, not because they lack the skill, but because stepping into it would mean showing more of themselves than feels safe. At the heart of it is the same struggle: we learn to treat parts of ourselves as if they are enemies that need to be contained or ignored, hoping they’ll go away. Anger, grief, power, vulnerability – all become suspect. We fear that if we let them out, we’ll be consumed, exposed, or judged. So, we keep ourselves in check. We create a version of ourselves we think we can control, a version that we believe is more palatable to those around us, while the rest stays locked away. But the energy it takes to keep these parts hidden is immense. It’s like trying to hold a beach ball under water – you can do it for a while, but it takes constant effort, and sooner or later it pops back up. People tell me they’re exhausted, burnt out, running on empty. Often what’s draining them isn’t life itself but the ongoing effort of self-containment. And here’s the paradox: the very things we fear are often the things we most need. Anger, when acknowledged, becomes a boundary that protects rather than destroys. Sadness, when felt, can soften us and connect us more deeply with ourselves and others. Power, when trusted, allows us to contribute with strength and creativity. Vulnerability, when expressed, is what makes intimacy possible. When we reject these parts, we not only limit ourselves, we cut off vital sources of energy and wisdom. We remain partially alive, performing an edited version of ourselves that looks acceptable but feels hollow. So what do we do with the fear of ourselves? The answer isn’t to force anything out into the open, nor to fight with it. The work begins with curiosity. To ask: What is it I’m so afraid will happen if I feel this? What story am I telling myself about what this emotion means about me? Sadness doesn’t mean you are broken. Anger doesn’t mean you are dangerous. Power doesn’t mean you are arrogant. Vulnerability doesn’t mean you are weak. These are human experiences – signs and signals, energies, aspects of self that become distorted only when suppressed or denied. It takes courage to meet yourself honestly. Sometimes that means allowing yourself to cry, and discovering that you do stop when it’s allowed to flow. Sometimes it means giving anger a voice in a safe and constructive way and realising it doesn’t destroy you. Sometimes it means stepping into a role at work, and learning that your power doesn’t corrupt you but allows you to lead more authentically. When we begin to turn toward the parts we fear, they lose their power to terrify us. Like the Wizard of Oz, when we look behind the curtain we create an opportunity to learn and understand. We can look a little deeper, grow and evolve. And the deeper truth is this: the self you fear is also the self that longs to be free. It is the part of you that wants to live without masks, to bring your whole self into your relationships, your work, your life. It is the part that carries your creativity, your joy, and your capacity to love. Perhaps the real danger isn’t that your emotions or your power will consume you. The real danger is what happens if you keep them locked away – if you spend a lifetime afraid of yourself, never discovering who you truly are. So maybe the question is not, What if I let it out? but What might become possible if I do? — Previously Published on Energy Flow Coaching iStock featured image The post The Fear of Yourself: Why Men Hold Back Their Anger, Sadness, and Power appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

Moscow is open to welcoming Western businesses back, with certain conditions, the foreign minister has said Russia has no plans to exact vengeance on Western countries that cut ties and pressured Moscow over the Ukraine conflict, Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov has said. Speaking at the Moscow State Institute of International Relations on Monday, Lavrov stressed that Russia did not intend to “take revenge or vent anger” on companies that decided to support Western governments in their push to support Kiev and impose economic sanctions on Moscow, adding that hostility is generally “a poor adviser.” “When our former Western partners come to their senses… we will not push them away. But we… will take into account that, having fled at the order of their political leaders, they have shown themselves to be unreliable,” the minister said. According to Lavrov, any future market access would also depend on whether the companies would pose risks to sectors vital to Russia’s economy and security. The minister stressed that Russia is open to cooperation and has no intention to isolate itself. “We live on one small planet. It was Western-style to build Berlin Walls… We do not want to build any walls,” he said, referring to the symbol of the Cold War that split the German capital from 1961 to 1989. ”We want to work honestly, and if our partners are ready to do the same on the basis of equality and mutual respect, we are open to dialogue with everyone,” he said, pointing to the Alaska Summit between Russian President Vladimir Putin and his US counterpart, Donald Trump, as an example of constructive engagement. Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said, on Saturday, that Western businesses would be welcomed back if they had not supported the Ukrainian army and had met obligations to the state and their Russian staff, including paying due salaries. Putin this month also rejected isolationism, stressing that Russia would like to avoid closing itself off in a “national shell” as it would harm competitiveness. “We have never turned away or pushed anyone out. Those who want back in are welcome,” he added. View the full article

Hello Doc, I have been reading things here for a long time and while I don’t agree with you on everything, I have often thought about getting your opinion on things, as you clearly understand people way better than me. Now, just today, something came up and it will be a while before my next therapy appointment, so I could do with some advice. It isn’t exactly a dating question, but I know you’ve answered questions about general issues with socializing before. First up, I’m a 31-year-old German, bisexual, autistic (as you probably guessed) guy with moderate depressive disorder and severe social anxiety. I still live with my parents working on a university degree, that seems to take me forever, have very few friends (I had none for most of my youth) and am generally very bad at dealing with people. Like, I know several other autistic people and even compared to them I am bad at it. Even though I can talk just fine and don’t think I am even that bad at understanding people’s actions at a distance, when I am actually around someone else it’s like “What do I do with this? Why are they acting like that and reacting that way to me? Why do I always do this shit, I know is wrong?” To finally start approaching the point: I made the (very scary to me) decision to, for the first time, join a Pride Parade in a nearby city this year, which was today. I am furious about the massive social push-back against queer people, especially trans people, that has been happening recently. I know it’s worse over in the US, but it’s very much happening here in Germany too. So I felt, I should do at least this little to show my support. Also, I thought, I needed to get out of my comfort zone and had that slim hope of making some connections to people. I can already see the “Pride isn’t about making friends or lovers”-reaction coming, as it seems nowhere that people meet is about meeting people according to the internet, but I digress. I actually had a really good time at the parade itself. I had seen very few other queer people in real life before and seeing so many so different people come together to stand up for one another felt really wonderful. I did not exactly feel a part of the group, but at least along with the group, if that makes any sense. The party after the parade was another story. The parade had arrived at the site earlier than expected and so the organizers needed a while to set things up. I hadn’t made up my mind about whether I was even going to stay for the party ahead of time, as I usually hate parties, but with the delay, I decided to at least take a look around. After some looking around and eating some ice cream, I realized, there wasn’t really much for me there and I left to go home. The party was on one side of a river I had to cross and when I got to the other side, I sat on a bench to rest for a little. I realized, that I was feeling incredibly lonely. I had seen all these friends and couples around me for hours, but never talked to any of them, didn’t even know how to talk to them. I felt going home was giving up, that I had to take the chance, instead of running away from people, like I always did. So I went back to the party and stupidly did the same thing I always do at parties, that never works: walk around aimlessly looking for someone who may be interested in conversation, because I don’t enjoy dancing or drinking. But if there are signals that people are willing to open up their groups, they are invisible to me and, well, almost no one was sitting around on their own. And I couldn’t just place myself somewhere in the vain hope someone might come up to me, because it was too crowded. But then I noticed, I wasn’t the only one circling the premises. I noticed two other people doing the same thing: One was very thick and wearing nerdy clothes, the other was quite cute with pretty, long locks and a wearing a long black skirt that suited them really well. (Both looked like guys to me, even with the skirt, but I’m not gonna assume at a pride party.) Showing myself much more shallow, than I thought, I tried to get closer to the cute person. I thought of what to say, something like: “Hey. Are you waiting or looking for someone? Because you look like you’re just aimlessly walking around and I was worried, that I was the only one doing that. Wanna be aimless together for a bit?” (Leaving the “are you lonely just like me, oh pretty probably-not-a-woman” implied at most.) It probably shows how little social calibration I have, that I genuinely have no idea, how that would have come off. Chances are, that they were in fact just looking or waiting for friends, because they checked their phone whenever they stopped. Either way, with me not getting a good opportunity or hesitating too long, but not wanting to lose sight of them, I found myself following them around. Oops. I should have just left then and there, or done anything else. But I just got fixated on this idea. I did keep myself away from the cute person for a while and they left my sight. But after a while, I saw them down near the river (where the quieter part of the party was), still aimlessly walking around. I waited near the stairs that went down there, but they didn’t come up, so I went down. I actually got pretty close, as they were getting up from the dry grass, they had been lying in for a moment. Our eyes met for a moment and their look seemed to say: “Why the hell are you looking at me?” Apparently, that still wasn’t enough for me, so when they sat themselves down, right next to the river but away from most people, I sat a bit away from that but just in visual range. They had a quick phone-call (possibly about the creepy stalker following them around). I thought, if they wanted to, they could approach me, if only to confront me, so I could apologize. That didn’t happen, they got up and I looked away, so I couldn’t see where they were going. Then I left for home. When I got home, I had to find out, that I had been even dumber, than I thought. The weather forecast I’d read had said, that it would be cloudy, so I stupidly didn’t put on sunscreen. It was not cloudy. The entire time I was making an ass of myself, I had been having a bright red face from sunburn. I know, that chances are, the person I was fixating on didn’t even notice most of that. I still fear, that I have now become someone’s scare story, about how some weird-looking creep had followed them around at pride. So, my question, after that way-too-long story, is: How do I do better next time? I mean beyond not staring at and following around strangers. Because I had enjoyed the parade and would like to return next year if I can. Should I just avoid the party? Try to bring someone along (will be hard, my few friends and family aren’t bigots, but are awkward about queer stuff)? Should I try to go to one of those queer meetup-things, that seem super awkward and forced to me, because awkward and forced communication is better than none? I hesitate to ask about more effective methods of approaching people, because whenever I see someone give them, my thought is: “Well how am I supposed to do that? Want me to climb a mountain next?” I’m writing this so soon after it happened, because, my self-hatred is already turning this from “That went badly. How can I do better?” to “I am a complete garbage person, that no one should ever associate with.” (I am not asking for help with the self-loathing. The only answer you seem to have to that is: “Make yourself think differently.” Which doesn’t work. Yes I tried. Many times.) Sincerely, Future Pride Scare Story Hey, FPSS, I don’t mean to diminish what you’re feeling or your understandable worries but are you sure that the problem here isn’t just anxiety fucking with you? To be perfectly honest, I’m not actually seeing anything in your letter that suggests that you actually did anything wrong – certainly nothing that would come off as creepy or untoward. Most of what you describe sounds pretty anodyne and seems to be more about you over-thinking things and kicking yourself in the junk. I want to start off by saying that you did a brave and admirable thing. You were trying to get out of your comfort zone and actually go meet people and have fun. That can be pretty damn huge, and it’s great that you did! I’d also point out that the line about “hey, are you kinda wandering and feeling about rolling solo? Me too! Wanna hang out so we don’t feel as weird about it?” is actually a good approach. It’s a little self-aware vulnerability, a bid for a shared commonality and an offer of both understanding and relief. I think, if you’d managed to actually spit it out, that it would’ve gotten a positive response, even if they were just looking for their friends or waiting for someone. It just seems a shame to me that you’re turning this moment of progress and growth into self-recrimination for no reason. Part of it seems to be that you either have primed yourself to expect this or you’ve been doing some form of psychic self-harm by looking up videos and TikToks that would confirm that you’re a bad person. I’m honestly scratching my head, for example, at where “Pride isn’t about making friends or lovers” came from. Now admittedly: I’m a straight, cis dude, so my perspective isn’t going to be the same as someone in the queer community but I would’ve sworn that part of the point of Pride is, well, community. Bringing people together, celebrating yourselves, connecting and bonding and rejoicing. Saying “Pride’s not about finding making friends” seems to be contrary to the whole point about it; you’re at a celebration, not a monastic meditation retreat. This sounds to me like the equivalent of saying that you’re not supposed to try to make friends at a rock concert or at college. (Now to be fair: there seems to be a series of endless debates about what is or isn’t “allowed” or “appropriate” at Pride – usually about kink, corporations or bi/pan people with opposite sex partners – so I could have missed some long-simmering Discourse… but I’d be shocked if so). I mention this because I don’t know if this is something you came to the event with, or if it’s an after-the-fact rationalization about how ‘awful’ you were. But either way, it sounds like this is more about confirming your priors, rather than a sign that you broke some unwritten rule and are thus a terrible person. And, again, I’m just not seeing it. If anything, what I’m seeing is standard depression and social anxiety and a lot of your just talking yourself down and beating yourself up because… being shy and worried about talking to someone just wasn’t “bad enough”, I guess. The whole “Oh God, I fucked up so badly, everyone saw and everyone thinks I’m a predator!” sounds like a pretty common refrain from anxiety brain weasels. Then you compound it with comments like how you’re shallow for (let me check my notes here) finding someone attractive when they were conventionally attractive. Oh you villain, you monster, how could you? OK more seriously: it doesn’t sound like you even got close enough for the person to clock that you were even there, never mind thinking you were stalking them. As near as I can tell, while you were maybe in their sight line occasionally, you were always at a distance, never actually got that close and never talked to them. Sure, you were trying to stay in the general area in hopes that you’d find an opportunity (and the courage) to talk to them but… it’s a party. People mix and mingle and circulate and walk around. You’re going to see folks over and over again because crowds churn and move and people walk around, talk to folks, get drinks, dance, go grab a smoke break or find a quiet spot to take a phone call or just get some fresh air. It’s pretty much expected, and frankly, most people are either not going to notice, or not think anything of it. You didn’t follow them to places that would be unusual for people to go, nor did you get close enough for folks to feel like maybe this was more than coincidence. The one time you were in near physical proximity was when they were already getting up and leaving. And the next time you were within eyeshot, they were on their phone and you were leaving. None of this reads as “following with ill intent”, “stalking” or even “guy thinks I’m cute and is trying to work up the courage to talk”. It’s far more likely to read as basic social churn at a party. The closest you ever come to having any sort of meaningful contact that would suggest they were even aware you were there is that… they made eye-contact once. Unless you were giving them the hairy eyeball and staring unblinkingly like you were measuring their skin for how many belts you could make out of them, the odds that they even clocked that you were following them is really, really low. I would also point out that literally everything else about this non-interaction – up to and including reading “ungh, who is this guy?” is interpretation on your part, and considering your social anxiety, I would not trust your interpretation as being reasonable or accurate. It’s the very definition of confirmation bias – you already assume that your presence is unwanted and intrusive, so it’s no wonder that you found “proof”. you were expecting to have this result and oh look, you did. Except, as I said: I don’t think you did. Unless they actually gave a hostile look – furrowed brow, frown, eyes narrowing, fists clenching or shoulders tensing – or gave some other sign of disgust or dislike, the odds are that they just think they made eye-contact with a stranger and that was the end of that. The same goes with having been sun-burned. That’s embarrassing, sure, and potentially painful… but hardly unheard of. Getting too much sun at parades or outdoor parties is pretty much at the top of “most common shared experiences” lists at events like this. That, overpriced concessions, and “Sweet suffering fuck the port-o-potties were horror shows”. Here’s the thing: social anxiety feels like there’s a spotlight on you at all times and convinces you that you’re the center of everyone’s attention and I promise you: you are not. Everyone’s busy with their own lives and their own drama and don’t have the time or mental bandwidth to clock you as more than another face in the crowd – sunburnt or otherwise. And in the event that anyone noticed you specifically, they almost certainly didn’t think “wait, why is this person following me”; if anything, they forgot you existed as soon as you left their eye-line. The reason why it feels like everyone’s paying attention to you is because you are feeling self-conscious about it. It feels to you like nobody could possibly miss that you’re always nearby, staring… but trust me: it absolutely is. People will miss a dude in a gorilla suit; you’re not nearly as visible as that. I think we can safely say that the worst thing you did at this party was forget to bring sun screen, and the rest is just your anxiety fucking with you. You were pushing your limits, your social anxiousness kicked into high gear and your jerkbrain ran with it, that’s all. Part of it is the inherent awkwardness at being at an event where you don’t know anyone, part of it is a lack of experience and part of it is just fear. That’s ok, because those are all fixable! You mention that you’re in therapy. I think it may be worth talking to your therapist about options for managing your anxiety, both in the moment and in general. There’re a number of breathing exercises you can do in the moment to help calm yourself down, like the 5-5-5 technique where you inhale for a count of 5, hold it for a count of 5 and exhale to the count of 5. There’s also the 4-7-8 version, which follows the same pattern. Breathe in slowly, hold it, breathe out slowly. You may also want to talk about potential medical options, from beta blockers to full SSRIs. These can help you get a handle on the physical symptoms of anxiety, which makes it easier to manage the mental and psychological side of it. The other thing I think you should do is to go queer meetups, especially ones focused on meeting people and making new friends. Not only does this give you a chance to get used to just chatting with people – and meeting new potential friends – but it also means that next year at Pride, you’ll see some familiar faces, which can help alleviate some of the pressure of “how am I going to talk to anyone?” The last thing I will leave you with is this: I’ve written a lot about how to navigate parties and talk to strangers, and recommend you check them out. But if you want my #1 tip for how to handle being at a party where you don’t know anyone? Talk to one of the hosts or, failing that, introduce yourself to someone who seems nice and tell them that this is your first time at Pride and you don’t know anyone here. Not only can damn near everyone relate, but they’re far more likely to introduce you around and help you meet people if you lead with that. Trust me: it works a hell of a lot better than holding up the metaphorical wall and hoping that some extrovert is going to come along and adopt you. But seriously: you’re fine. You didn’t creep anyone out, you didn’t act egregiously. This is just anxiety fucking with you. You’re ok. I promise. All will be well. *** Dear Dr. NerdLove, I fell in love with a Very Unsuitable Person – as in potentially career ending levels of unsuitable – and for a while he loved me back. It was a non-sexual but highly-romantic relationship. There were several opportunities for me to have said no, or halted the relationship, but I didn’t want to, so I continued seeing him until he broke up with me rather abruptly. It’s been three months since the breakup, and I still miss him so much it is a constant ache, a whine in the back of my head. I know I got very, very lucky. It was a clean break, no drama on either side, end of career averted, Very Unsuitable Person voluntarily fucked off out of my life. The universe gave me a mulligan. I don’t think there’s any possibility of him popping back up again, either. But god do I miss him. I miss the laughter and smiles and in-jokes and sweetness. I miss the sound of my name from his mouth. I miss the way his breathing sounded when we watched a movie together and he was really into it. I miss the intensity of the way he loved me, and how it felt like it was us against the world. And if he did get in touch, apologize, explain…I would seriously consider taking him back, fully cognizant of how bad an idea that would be, and how I would be throwing away that mulligan. How do I him-proof myself? How do I get over this? Has it just not been long enough? I’m just so sad. Sincerely yours, Lucky, But Not Loved This sounds rough, LBNL, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I do wish you’d explained a little bit more about why it would’ve been so unsuitable and how the two of you were in this romantically fraught relationship, and that could give a little more insight into how you’re feeling now. But I strongly suspect that a big reason why you’re still hung up on this is because the relationship ended so abruptly. It’s the suddenness of the break that screws with you, in part because one moment it’s there and everything is great and then suddenly it’s gone. It’s one thing if you feel a relationship starting to wind down – whether you’re realizing you’re losing that loving feeling or they seem to be pulling a slow fade. Or if you’re constantly in conflict and the good times seem like an increasingly distant memory. In those cases, you have more of a transition period, where your status quo has been changing and the relationship itself is altering until you reach the point where it ends. On those occasions, while it sucks that things fell apart, you at least saw it coming. You’re able to look back on the good times and miss them, but you can also see how – if not why – it all ended. When it comes screaming out of the clear blue sky, however, there’s no adjustment, no acclimation, no awareness of the change. It’s a bit like a chair you were sitting in vanished and dropped you to the floor, or a door you were leaning on opened without warning. This thing you had is gone and so quickly that you stumble and fall and you have no idea what the hell happened. Small wonder that you still feel so strongly about it. Yeah, you know this wasn’t good for you and it’s better that the relationship is over, intellectually… but emotionally, it’s next to impossible to make that sort of 180 degree turn in an instant. This is in no small part because what you’re feeling is as much chemical as it is emotional. You’re literally in withdrawal; you were still in the phase where your brain was being flooded with dopamine and oxytocin when he was around. You were getting high off of him – literally – and now suddenly your dealer cut you off with no warning. So what do you do about it? Well, part of it is that you give yourself closure. While this wasn’t the way you would’ve wanted the relationship to end, you know it needed to, and it’s better that things are over. You can and should acknowledge that you miss how you felt with him – trying to pretend you don’t just doesn’t work – but you also acknowledge that it’s better that this is over. The next part is that you treat this like any other break up. It may not have been a conventional or even healthy relationship, but it was a relationship, and it ended. So you sit with your feelings and let yourself feel them. You mourn the loss, you regret that it had to happen this way, and you process. Give yourself a couple weeks to have a sad about it, then work on reconnecting with your friends and family. Focus on things that help generate some oxytocin – laughing with your friends, physical touch, good conversations and so on. Get a massage, cuddle with your cat or dog, go for long walks or hit the gym and get your blood pumping and endorphins flowing. And then? Well, you will be surprised to wake up one day soon and realize that while you still miss these things you used to have with him… it’s not as bad as it was. And as each day passes, you’ll realize that you’re feeling a little better than the day before. And a bit better the next day, and so on and so on. Every day, you’ll miss him a little bit less. And in time, you’ll realize that not only are you over him, but you’re ready to go out and meet someone new – someone better for you, who isn’t six red flags in a trench coat. And some day, if Mr. Bad Decision does come back into your life – a day that, God willing, may never come – you’ll realize that you don’t want him back. You will have moved on and whether you’ve met someone who better meets your needs or not, you’ll know that this guy holds no more temptations for you. You’ve got this. Good luck. — This post was previously published on Doctornerdlove.com and is republished on Medium. — Subscribe to The Good Men Project Newsletter Email Address * Subscribe If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member today. All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here. Photo credit: iStock The post I’m Terrified That I Was the Awkward Creep at a Party! What Do I Do? appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article

▶️ YouTube PiP on Chromebook: You can keep a YouTube video running while working on other tasks. Place your cursor on the video player, double-tap with two fingers on the touchpad, and select Picture in picture. A floating window will appear that you can resize and move anywhere on your screen. The post YouTube PiP on Chromebook appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

One scientist ran the math and decided immortality is basically just a software update away. So yeah, your great-great-great-great-great-grandkids could still be waiting on you to Venmo them. The post One scientist ran the math and decided immortality is basically just a software update away appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

The Oakland AIs: The Oakland Ballers are going full Moneyball 2.0. They’re going to be the first pro sports team to let an AI manager handle in-game lineup, substitutions and field positions. It’s a one-time stunt, but it’s a first for pro sports. Fans used to manage the team via app. They lost. Now it’s the bots’ turn. The post The Oakland AIs appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

Democratic voters in particular increasingly prefer socialism, an opinion poll has indicated Barely half of Americans view capitalism favorably, while Democratic voters increasingly prefer socialism, a new Gallup poll has indicated. The survey, conducted in August among over 1,000 adults nationwide, showed just 54% of respondents had a positive opinion of capitalism – the lowest figure since Gallup began tracking views on the system in the early 2010s, when approval stood at 61%. Support for socialism remained largely unchanged at 39%, Gallup said Monday. Republicans continue to strongly back capitalism, with 74% expressing support. Among Democrats, approval has slipped to 42%, lower than half for the first time. At the same time, Democratic support for socialism has climbed to 66%, up from 50% in 2010. Gallup noted that Democrats have consistently favored socialism over capitalism since 2016, and that the gap has continued to widen. While Americans broadly approve of free enterprise and small business, their views of large corporations have dropped sharply, from 58% approval in 2012 to a record low of 37% this year. Democrats in particular expressed hostility toward Big Tech, Big Pharma, and other corporate sectors, with only 17% viewing them positively. Gallup said these shifts explain why openly socialist-leaning politicians can win elections in the US. Examples included Senator Bernie Sanders, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani. Mamdani, who has proposed opening publicly owned food markets to address supply problems, is running without establishment Democratic backing despite defeating former Mayor Andrew Cuomo in the party’s primary. Cuomo is now campaigning against him as an independent. View the full article

An Israeli minister has called for the dismantlement of the Palestinian Authority following the attack Six people were killed and several others injured in a shooting at a bus station in East Jerusalem, Israeli officials said Monday. Two Palestinian gunmen were shot dead at the scene, they added. The shooters reportedly came from the West Bank, prompting calls from Israeli officials for tougher measures against Palestinians living under Israeli military rule there. One of the victims was identified by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as an ultra-Orthodox soldier from the Hashmonaim Battalion, a unit launched last year to accommodate Haredi Jews. “A pursuit and encirclement of the villages from which the terrorists came is under way,” Netanyahu said, describing the deaths as part of Israel’s “intense war against terror on several fronts.” President Isaac Herzog echoed the remarks, saying Israel is fighting “absolute evil.” Dashcam footage shows the moments of the deadly shooting attack at Ramot Junction in Jerusalem. Five people were killed and at least 11 others were wounded, including six seriously. Both terrorists, West Bank Palestinians, were shot dead. pic.twitter.com/w2OVu3cFOP — Emanuel (Mannie) Fabian (@manniefabian) September 8, 2025 The shooting came as Israel continues its military campaign in Gaza with the stated goal of destroying the militant group Hamas following its deadly October 2023 incursion. The attack has fueled calls to widen Israel’s crackdown on Palestinians. Economy Minister Nir Barkat blamed the Palestinian Authority, the internationally recognized governing body in the West Bank and a rival to Hamas, and called for dismantling it entirely. There was just a Nazi Jihadist shooting attack at Ramot Junction in Jerusalem Many people are injured, some possibly dead The 2 terrorists have been shot pic.twitter.com/liIDpF6jgi — Documenting Israel (@DocumentIsrael) September 8, 2025 Palestinian Authority chief Mahmoud Abbas reacted to the incident by condemning “all forms of violence and terrorism from any source” and urged Israel to end its occupation of Palestinian territories. Hamas called the shooting “a natural response to the occupation’s crimes and war of extermination” in Gaza. The official death toll in the enclave surpassed 64,000 last week, while the real number of deaths is believed to be higher. Meanwhile, the party of Israeli National Security Minister Itamar Ben Gvir has called for the death penalty for terrorism-related crimes. Israel has used capital punishment only twice in its history – for Holocaust mastermind Adolf Eichmann and for an Israeli officer accused of treason in 1948, who was later exonerated. Russia has warned that Israel’s sweeping response to the 2023 Hamas raid will not resolve its security challenges and has urged West Jerusalem to support the establishment of a viable Palestinian state, an outcome Netanyahu has vowed to block. View the full article

The decision to impose levies on the South Asian country for buying Russia oil is “the right idea,” the Ukrainian leader has said Ukrainian leader Vladimir Zelensky has claimed US President Donald Trump’s decision to impose 25% penal tariffs on India for buying Russian oil was the “right” thing to do. In an interview with ABC News’ Martha Raddatz that was aired on Sunday, Zelensky said “additional pressure” was needed on Russian President Vladimir Putin. Mentioning last week’s Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO) summit in Tianjin, China, Raddatz asked, “When you saw [Indian Prime Minister Narendra] Modi there, who has helped Russia... so did the plan backfire of trying to put sanctions on them?” In response, Zelensky said, “I think the idea to put tariffs on the countries which continue to make deals with Russia, I think this is [the] right idea.” The US has imposed duties on most Indian products, which include a 25% tariff announced in early August followed by an additional 25% at the end of last month, as a “penalty” for India’s purchases of Russian oil and defense equipment – actions that Trump claims have indirectly fueled the Ukraine conflict. Before going to Tianjin for the SCO summit, Modi held a telephone conversation with Zelensky in which the Indian leader said New Delhi extends “full support” to “restore peace and stability” in Ukraine. “As far as the conflict in Ukraine is concerned, we welcome all the recent efforts towards establishing peace in Ukraine,” Indian Foreign Ministry spokesperson Randhir Jaiswal said on Friday. “We hope that all parties will proceed ahead constructively. India supports an early end of the conflict and the establishment of an enduring peace.” In his interview with ABC, Zelensky also spoke out against other countries that continue to buy Russian oil and gas. ”To be open and to be clear, it’s not fair,” he said. “So we have to stop to buy any kind of energy from Russia… we can't have any deals if we want to solve them [conflict].” View the full article

I’m ten years old, playing down in the creek at the base of our driveway.It’s winter 1974, and the woods surrounding the creek are wet from fresh rain.The acidic flux of old oak trees fills the air with a soft vinegar aroma, and the lichens smell earthy and woodsy, like a damp Harris Tweed jacket.I roll off the slippery bark of a felled tree, and return to my yellow Tonka truck, sitting half-buried in the mud along the creek bed. An assortment of metal Matchbox toy cars are scattered in the leaves, along with some plastic toy soldiers.The light is fading, and I await the call of my father’s booming baritone, yelling “Johnny, Johnny!” He normally calls for me, just before dusk, when Mom is preparing dinner. But he doesn’t call.The air is silent.It’s getting dark.I trudge up the deer trail, through the brush, careful to avoid the poison ivy that has led to itchy rashes in the past. I crest the last of the trail and emerge on our front lawn. The grass is strangely dry and brown, despite the winter rain.I hear scrub jays calling one another and playing in the woods behind our house. I make my way to the brick patio leading to my parent’s bedroom door but discover that it’s locked. It’s strangely quiet. I walk around to the front door of the house, but it’s locked too. So I ring the doorbell. Then I knock loudly. Nothing. I stroll over to the living room windows and look inside. All the furniture is covered with sheets. There are cobwebs where the walls meet the ceiling. Then I noticed no vehicles in the driveway. A sort of panic settles into my being. I continue ringing the doorbell and calling out to my parents. I run around and look into several windows. Everything inside is covered up with sheets. It looks dusty, old, and abandoned. The sun has set and it’s now dark outside. Beneath the moon and starlight, I find some beach towels on the back patio where Mom left them beside an old chaise lounge. With towels in hand, I make my way to the woods and climb up into the old treehouse I built. I cover myself with the towels, as it’s getting cold. I curl up in a fetal position, feeling abandoned, afraid, and alone. And I begin to cry. That’s when I woke up from the dream. My heart was racing, and my back was slightly perspired. I sat up and focused on exhaling slowly, to calm myself down. It was strange because I was not ill, and when I went to bed I was feeling fine. I hadn’t even been thinking about my parents, my childhood, or the past. I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now? —John Lennon The dream happened a few days ago, and I’ve been ruminating about it ever since. What does it mean? Where did these troubling thoughts come from? What am I to make of it all? An essay in The Viva Center states: According to clinician Jacky Casumbal, “Dreams are our brain’s way of organizing events of the day, memories, and images into vivid, symbolic, and nonsensical storylines.” Nightmares in particular are “dreams that are often connected to unresolved anxiety and trauma that our brain has not fully worked through.” I was with my father shortly before he passed away in 2008. And I held my mother in my arms when she passed in 2021. In both instances, my parents were well into their eighties and suffering irreversible medical afflictions. It was hard to lose them, but also a kind of relief. No more suffering. In short, I accepted the deaths of my parents. So where does such a troubling dream about abandonment bubble up from? What tangential events or thoughts could explain this subconscious landscape of childhood fear and loss? And why is it still affecting me? Our new kitten is asleep on my desk as I write this essay. Perhaps he is soothed by the soft piano music playing in the background, or maybe it’s just the sense of belonging and security he feels being near me as I write. There’s something comforting about being safely at home with the ones you love. John P. Weiss When I was a boy I used to sit on my father’s lap as he wrote legal decisions on yellow pads with his Parker 21 fountain pen. I’d watch mesmerized by my Dad’s immaculate, copperplate handwriting. Other times I’d hang out in the kitchen as my mother baked apricot squares for her bridge group later that evening. Or I’d venture upstairs and visit with my sister as she played with her Breyer model ponies. But life marches on. Many years ago we sold the family home after Dad passed away and it was too much for my mother to maintain. And then years later, I retired from my law enforcement career and we relocated from California to Nevada. Mom came with us and lived comfortably in a nearby assisted living center until she passed away in 2021. Most recently, my wife, son, and I downsized from our previous home here in Nevada to a new house only a few miles away. Also, I lost a friend to dementia this year, and have another friend who is in the throes of it. Yet another friend is battling an aggressive cancer. And a dear friend lost her mother, and I gave the eulogy at her funeral. One of the difficult things about growing older is that you start losing so many friends. On the other hand, the older you get, the less time you have to wait until you see them again. —Ron Brackin So there has been a lot of loss. And there have been other changes recently. I just canceled my digital subscription to a popular online newspaper, after many years of loyal support. Their updated digital format no longer reads like a newspaper, but rather like an endless blog. I much prefer reading the actual newspaper, but alas, the delivery was so unreliable I was forced into a digital subscription. It’s a small thing, but I mourn the pleasure of reading the physical paper. I used to clip out articles and send them to friends or slip them into my journals. My Dad used to send me newspaper clippings in his letters to me at university. I enjoyed the ink stains and tactile experience. Thus, the digital version is lacking for me. I guess that’s part of what’s going on. I’ve been slowly saying goodbye. To people, things, and the past ways of life. To say goodbye is to die a little. –Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye The world has become less familiar to me. The landscape keeps evolving and blurring. People don’t seem to take their jobs as seriously as they once did. Everywhere I look, faces are immersed in phone screens. It’s like people have become transfixed by algorithmic addictions. Conversations are fewer, and the dogma of politics infects even the simplest of interactions. I wonder if my Dad or Mom felt this way in their retirement years. Maybe this happens to all of us.We get comfortable in our generational time, with its music, technology, and way of life. Until the world spins faster, ever-changing, and you find yourself trapped in a dream of the past. A dream that becomes a nightmare. Nightmares are sometimes associated with unmet psychological needs or frustration with life experiences. As the essay in The Viva Center notes: …our nightmares tend to reflect our troubles through metaphor rather than literal representation. For example, a person who is dealing with a stressful move might not dream of the move itself, but about falling off the edge of a cliff or running late to an important event. Likewise, two people may experience similar nightmares (about, say, finding themselves naked in a public space) but for wildly different reasons. These variations can make it difficult to find a single, clear “meaning” behind our dreams. Experts often point to anxiety, depression, and trauma as the cause of nightmares. Which is strange in that I’m quite comfortable and happy with my family, friends, creative pursuits, animal companions, and new home. And I’m blessed to be in good health and have no history of depression. Some say that the loss of one’s career with retirement creates a sense of irrelevancy. We feel a bit adrift. But I haven’t felt this way, perhaps because I find purpose and meaning in my writing. So what then? I think there’s an answer for this lost boy in the woods. Memories may be like a warm blanket in the winter of our lives, but they can also become a wet blanket preventing us from new experiences and positive change. The more I cling to the past, to the “good old days,” the less I am willing to expose myself to new experiences. And when we stay stuck in the past, we stop growing. The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself. —C. JoyBell C. Earlier today, I decided to escape the house. I took my dog, Nanuk, to the park, where the trees, birds, grass, and fresh air always lift my spirit. There was a group of young teenagers playing volleyball in the hot sun. One of the boys was being silly, wearing a football helmet, as one of the girls yelled, “You look totally ridiculous!” and he said, “I am magnificent!” John P. Weiss I had to laugh. I guess not every kid today is glued to a digital screen. As I walked past, the two girls asked if they could pet my dog. “We have a husky at home,” the one girl said. “Well, this one is an Alaskan Klee Kai,” I explained, “They’re a lot like Huskies, just smaller.” The girls pet Nanuk and then thanked me as they ran off for more Volleyball. It was a simple, pleasant interaction. A gentle reminder that the world changes, but people will always be people. And the only way to keep learning, and keep growing, is to get out there and expose yourself to this amazing, ever-changing world. Nanuk and I made our way back to my truck. I closed the doors and turned on the air conditioner. Closed my eyes. I could see my ten-year-old self in the dream, still in the treehouse in the woods. But it was different now. The sun had risen, and a few deer passed by below. I no longer felt alone and abandoned. I climbed down out of the treehouse and looked back at my childhood house one last time. I smiled and waved goodbye. To my Mom and Dad, and all the beauty and joy of those days gone by. To say goodbye to the past may be to die a little inside, but it also frees us to move on. To open our hearts and minds to new adventures, experiences, and the promise of the future. Pieces of an old Robert Frost poem came to mind: The woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. Perhaps we’re all just children in the woods. Afraid and alone at first, but then realizing how much there is to explore. We all have miles to go before we sleep. Sitting back in my truck, eyes shut, I watched as the boy in the woods found a deer trail and set off to explore, learn, and grow. I don’t know where the boy in the woods will end up. There are so many deer trails and paths to take. So many directions and possible destinations. I guess it doesn’t really matter. All I know is that the boy in the woods is going to be okay. Before you go I’m John P. Weiss. I write elegant stories and essays about life. If you enjoyed this piece, check out my free weekend newsletter, The Saturday Letters. — This post was previously published on Medium.com. *** You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today. All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community. A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities. A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community. Register New Account Log in if you wish to renew an existing subscription. 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🎥 Welles, Welles, Welles, what do we have here? AI studio Showrunner is trying to rebuild Orson Welles’ butchered masterpiece The Magnificent Ambersons. The missing 43 minutes were burned for storage space in 1942. Now, AI + live actors + face-swapping tech are piecing it back together. Amazon is backing it, but without the movie rights, it’s just a very expensive Frankenstein film. The post Welles, Welles, Welles, what do we have here appeared first on Komando.com. View the full article

As I stroll my infant daughter through a neighbourhood lined with eight-figure houses (the median price on this street was $10.9M), my eyes catch a shimmer from a dark object on the boulevard. As I approach, observing its contours, highlights and shadows, I speculate on what I’ve found. Is it a hunk of graphite, obsidian, or raw onyx? Unlikely. The remains of hardwood charcoal? Do rich people even barbecue, though? Walking past it, I then realize I’ve been staring at a sun-blackened lump of dog shit, baking in the summer heat. It’s about well-done by now. As I’ll soon see, there’s more of it down the block. Blood, sweat and fears And that’s when a dark epiphany hit me. Could this be a metaphor for my hopes and dreams? My decades-long, relentless hustle for success. The gap between where I am and where I want…no, need, to be. The frustrating difference between my efforts and my results. I’m wondering if I value the right things in life. Or have I been focusing on dog shit, disguised as a gem, this entire time? What if everything I’ve worked towards is forever outside of reach? I grind the nine-to-five along with everyone else, but I didn’t consider myself a follower of what to like, celebrate, think, want, or purchase, without consulting my vibe check. And I’ll surely teach my daughter to think for herself and not to follow blindly. Yet I strive for what most people want or have (permanent housing), because I believe the key to my daughter’s future lies in her environment. A modest dream at an exorbitant cost No, I don’t want a multi-million-dollar house, but the entry-level price of a detached home in Vancouver proper is well north of $1M. I’m sure “entry-level” is code for an old shit shack bungalow that’s crawling with silverfish, walking distance from nothing notable. Maybe moving to the car-dependent ‘burbs can knock $300K off a house, but that’s still putting me on the hook for a million. Imagine being indebted by seven figures to have a lifestyle different from what you value. Not for me, thanks. … I don’t need a yard for my daughter to play in; there are plenty of nearby parks and beaches. Or a garden to grow my own vegetables, or a barbecue, or a garage to fix up my bikes. I can go smaller without dreaming smaller, and fill those needs with community spaces rather than private property. And yet, a 2-bedroom condo in a decently walkable neighbourhood can start at just under a million. So, what now? Go big or go home If we pretend that my options for tech work were equal anywhere in the country, I could take my well-paying career back to my hometown and live like a king. Yeah…nah, I’ll pass. … Forever in my mind, that place is where you get jacked 3-on-1 or jacked at knifepoint while standing at the bus stop. Something like this has happened at least once to most guys I know back home. You know you can’t have nice things when your buddy tells you he just got jacked for his $10 pair of no-name shoes, just because they were brand new. Many times, I’d be walking down the street with a friend, and a random carload of strangers would yell out slurs or other gestures of aggression. We’d yell back or flip them off, and they may turn the car around, sometimes flashing their weapons, and start hunting us down, as we cut through yards and scale fences to flee. I’ve been in more fist fights than I could count, but I’m glad all of this is behind me now. … I wasn’t always sure of having kids, but I later knew I didn’t want that for my kids. Growing pains When I chose to move halfway across the country nearly two decades ago, I was clueless about how maladjusted I was in my new environment. Childhood exposure to (and the normalization of) hostility, racism and violence had shaped me for the worse, in ways that weren’t obvious to me. The child me did what he needed to adapt, at the cost that my adult self was not completely civilized. Long-lasting positive change is hard, especially when you don’t recognize the psychology behind your thought patterns and behaviour. … It was a few years before life became better than any dream I could fathom. It’s not only that I wouldn’t dare to dream this big as a child or young adult; it’s that I didn’t yet possess the imagination for the possibilities. After seeing the lifestyle potential in the city I now call home, I knew that I wanted this for my children. The legacy I can afford to leave So the life I’m building isn’t an empire of wealth or material gain. It was all about laying down roots in a progressive society rich with culture and experiences. A city that is not only logistically walkable, but also relatively very safe to walk in. Between the mountains and the sea, a city with beaches, an abundance of parks, kilometres of greenways and modern urbanism. A metropolitan area with an eclectic food scene that is Michelin-worthy. A stop for touring musicians, for both big-name and obscure overseas bands. And to escape the city life, it’s a ferry ride away to over half a dozen unique and quiet islands. … I want my daughter to grow up with access to these beautiful things that life has to offer. She will understand wealth inequality, big city crime and street smarts, but from a safer perspective than I experienced it. She will dare to dream and become the person she is meant to be once she finds her purpose. As long as we can avoid being priced out of this city, I will do everything I can to ensure my daughter isn’t robbed of having a good life. … Buying time I’m a high-ish earner, but still a renter. I didn’t always earn as much, taking many years to build up my career. I’ve stayed debt-free by making a habit of living below my means. Nice cars, designer fashion, latest tech…it’s all nice, but they’re mostly a distraction from building wealth. There are more practical, life-improving things that most people aren’t willing to spend on. I’ve saved up and invested over the years. Enough to take a significant financial detour for Parental Leave, which will hurt, but not kill, having a housing down payment. Eventual permanent housing for my daughter is crucial, as rentals can be pulled out from you at any time. Final thoughts I’m not ashamed of where I’m from; I’m ashamed of the way we all treated each other. A lot has changed since then, but some areas are still like that. With today’s trending pushback against kindness, many around the globe want society to regress. That’s not the future I want for my daughter. I didn’t come here to chase riches; I came in search of change. Costly change, but change I welcome gladly. By design, my daughter will have inspiration and opportunities to thrive beyond my dreams. One day, she may want to leave her hometown and go after her own dreams. — This post was previously published on medium.com. Love relationships? We promise to have a good one with your inbox. Subcribe to get 3x weekly dating and relationship advice. Did you know? We have 8 publications on Medium. Join us there! Hello, Love (relationships) Change Becomes You (Advice) A Parent is Born (Parenting) Equality Includes You (Social Justice) Greener Together (Environment) Shelter Me (Wellness) Modern Identities (Gender, etc.) Co-Existence (World) *** – Photo credit: Sophie N on Unsplash The post How Much Is a Good Childhood Worth? appeared first on The Good Men Project. View the full article