Good Men

We human beings are magicians of delusion, artisans of self-deception, and connoisseurs of personal fairy tales. We do not merely lie to others; we build elaborate stage sets of falsehood within ourselves and then applaud the performance as though it were Shakespearean. What follows is our little numbered carnival of self-trickery, each exhibit more ridiculous than the last, yet all curiously familiar. 1. Pretending Friendship Is Profound. We tell ourselves that simply being in the company of others means we are weaving golden threads of lifelong camaraderie. In reality, sometimes we are just drinking tepid wine in someone’s kitchen and politely asking if they are “havi…

Scoping out long-term relationships between fertility and other variables, I’ve done some reading and made some figures to look at. More on the reading another day. Here are some figures, all using data from World Bank World Development Indicators. (Sidenote: I wouldn’t have to make these figures if the people doing slower, more serious research took the time to also publish simple descriptive figures and tables on these relationships. Read more about how important this is in my blockbuster book, Citizen Scholar: Public Engagement for Social Scientists.) Question one: Inequality and fertility One question was whether inequality might reduce fertility because it increase…

— Financial struggles leave more than unpaid bills behind—they reshape the way we think about money itself. Anyone who has faced months of uncertainty, juggling which bill to pay first, or feeling the weight of constant phone calls from creditors knows how deeply those experiences linger. While tools like debt consolidation in Pennsylvania can help manage multiple debts and reduce stress in the present, the emotional side of money management often stays long after the immediate financial pressure is gone. That’s because money isn’t just a practical resource; it is tied to feelings of safety, security, and even self-worth. Anxiety Becomes the Default Lens When someone g…

By Clean Planet Foundation A British children’s book that blends science and fantasy has climbed to #1 on Amazon in both the US and UK — being hailed as a bold new kind of children’s fiction, Ellie Ment and the Material Matter is inspiring thousands of young readers on both sides of the Atlantic. And its success has a purpose: published by not-for-profit The Clean Planet Foundation, every copy sold helps fund science and environmental projects in schools and communities, furthering the Foundation’s mission. The book has already been chosen over the summer and as start-of-year reading by clubs and schools for more than 1,000 pupils across the USA Released at the end of …

By Walter S. DeKeseredy / West Virginia University This article was originally published by The Conversation. I have been teaching a course on rural criminology since 2014, and most of my students are surprised by the information on violence against women presented to them. Due to the lack of media attention to rural areas, my students come to class with the impression that all countrysides and small towns are safer than urban and suburban locales. In reality, rates of violent crime are often higher in many rural communities, and at times there’s even more silence around it. Nearly 50 years of research shows that male violence against women knows no geographical or de…

— When you ask yourself how to manifest love without sounding desperate, you are essentially seeking a harmonious blend of clear intention, emotional regulation, and balanced social behavior. In many societies, social pressures can lead some to over-exaggerate, projecting “neediness” instead of genuine attractiveness. Understanding How to manifest love Manifestation is the process of bringing your desires into reality by aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions. According to Dr. Khaled Al-Rashidi, when it comes to love, manifestation can help you attract a partner who resonates with your energy and values. However, he emphasizes that it’s important to approach thi…

I feel silly for what I’m about to say. In hindsight it’s abundantly clear. While my marriage was floundering it wasn’t. What can I say? Clouded hearts lead to clouded minds. What did my husband do when I begged him to save our marriage??!! Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Do you grasp why I feel silly? I begged him to save our relationship. I begged him to care. I begged him to listen. In short, I begged a man. I pleaded with a guy. Of course my husband did nothing. This is what’s clear in hindsight. This is what’s absurd. If you have to beg a person to do something they probably never will, OR they may reluctantly do something. It’s pure resistance. Why did I bother…

By Philip Steigman & Elliot Haspel, The 74 This story first appeared at The 74, a nonprofit news site covering education. Sign up for free newsletters from The 74 to get more like this in your inbox. For understandable reasons, a great deal of time and energy around improving child outcomes focuses on either the crucial early years or tumultuous adolescence. Yet there is a missing middle: specifically, a missing middle of childhood. Elementary-aged children, those from 6 to 12, are facing challenges — fueled by unprecedented technological influences — researchers, practitioners and policymakers are only beginning to fully understand. These trials are causing social,…

By Rhett Ayers Butler Founder’s Briefs: An occasional series where Mongabay founder Rhett Ayers Butler shares analysis, perspectives and story summaries. Mountains of smoking waste sprawl across the Dandora dump in Nairobi, Kenya. The acrid stench clings to the air; marabou storks pick over scraps alongside people searching for plastic bottles or bones. Interspersed among the refuse are scraps of fabric — remnants of the global fast-fashion boom. Mongabay’s Elodie Toto describes the scene. Kenya imported more than 900 million items of used clothing in 2021, according to the Changing Markets Foundation. More than half were unsellable; more than a third contained synthet…

I have read more self-help books and listened to more podcasts than I can count. I found the rich world of self-help in my mid-teens and never looked back. For years, I thought the answer to life’s struggles was always out there — in another book, in another video, in another perfectly worded quote, or in another Medium article. I was convinced that if I just consumed enough of them, I would finally get it. I would finally find a solution to all my problems. The solution was just one click away. So years went by, some of these self-help tools did help me, but most of them just confused me. After looking through every possible theory, author, and philosophy, here’s what…

Romance is one of those words we all think we understand… Until we don’t. To some, it’s flowers at the door, dinner reservations at eight, and the thrill of dressing up for each other. To others, maybe it feels more like the inability to wait: a late-night drive across the country just to see you, or an early breakfast first thing the next day. The truth is, romance can take many forms. It can be in the planning or in the spontaneity. In eagerness, in effort, in intention. It can live in surprises or in clarity. It can appear in the unexpected, and just as often in the beautifully expected. But here’s the hard part: when you’ve been hurt before… disappointed too m…

I hate career fairs. They’re probably the dumbest goddam thing ever invented as it relates to job hunting—at least since the resume. If you’ve never been to one, it’s basically speed dating without even the possibility of sex. In other words, it’s a worthless and inhumane exercise. Avoid career fairs at all costs (to your career and livelihood). Let me describe my typical job fair experience in a rambling, stream-of-thought manner that encapsulates what you’d be getting yourself into should you foolishly decide to ignore my warning—especially if you’re as neurotic as I am. I start by panicking 30 minutes before I have to leave for the job fair. My mind is flooded wi…

By U. Michigan The research in The Humanistic Psychologist centers on the concept of amor fati, a Latin phrase proclaimed by Friedrich Nietzsche more than 100 years ago meaning “love of one’s fate.” It suggests that people who embrace amor fati are more likely to flourish and less likely to languish in midlife. The study, led by University of Michigan psychologist Edward Chang, surveyed 111 Americans ages 35 to 60 to explore how amor fati relates to mental health, social connectedness, and loneliness. “Amor fati isn’t about passive acceptance,” says Chang, professor of psychology. “It’s a joyful, deliberate engagement with everything life throws at you, including suffe…

In a world that too often divides us by gender, class, race, or belief, there are still truths that remain, deeper than difference, stronger than status. These truths live in our bones. They are the stuff of being human. And no matter how tough we are taught to be, how self-reliant, how stoic, we all carry them. We Bury Our Dead We may not always talk about it, but grief carves through us all. Whether it’s a quiet tear at a funeral, or the years it takes to say a name out loud again, loss strips us down to what’s real. All around the world, we mourn. We gather. We remember. Because love doesn’t end when a person is gone. We Look to the Stars You don’t have to be relig…

Last month, I showed up ten minutes late to a Zoom meeting that I myself had scheduled. The worst part? I had written it down in two different places. Somehow, I still forgot. That was not even the most embarrassing moment. I once spent twenty minutes pacing my apartment looking for my phone, while I was talking on it. Another time, I introduced myself to the same colleague three times in a week. By the third time, he just laughed. I laughed too, but inside, I felt a little panicked. For most of my life, I assumed I was just cursed with a bad memory. Some people remembered birthdays, names, and details from a conversation we’d had two years ago. Meanwhile, I could barel…

The explosive spin off ‘Ballerina’ Is coming out on 4K Ultra HD I have enjoyed most of the John Wick movies. They have taken people on some wild adventures and have shown new sides to this mysterious world. Along the way we have seen these characters change in many intriguing ways. When news of a spin off came out, I hoped it would be great. A couple days ago it was announced Ballerina is getting released on 4K Ultra HD and here is my thoughts on this news. You can read the premise for this film here: The next chapter from the World of John Wick follows Eve Macarro (Ana de Armas), who is beginning her training in the assassin traditions of the Ruska Roma. Eve seeks reve…

Recent years have brought a flood of discourse on trauma: personality disorders, PTSD, and addiction. We cannot escape the battle of validating our experiences online, in our families, or our doctors’ offices. Society upholds its moral superiority by deciding who deserves to be in pain and who has truly suffered from it. We fail to see that the human soul is not so easily organized. Ironically, this is the same black and white thinking that drives diagnosis for labels such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and the systemic discarding of individuals who suffer from addiction. There is no scale for sorrow, and no system can determine…

The struggle of belief I fee; that the indian parenting style is a mix of authoritarian (^Control ⌄Sensitivity — punishment and reward orientation) + Authoritative (^Control ^Sensitivity — Social responsibility and altruism promotion). The control to be morally correct, nurturing sensitivity on whims and fancies. They have their own definitions of right and wrong w/o questioning anything. And that tends to trickle down on how we think while adulting. But what if we awaken to the reality? What if we let the logic do the talking? What if we dare to look foolish, untie the naught of the whole by curiously seeing the words of use? According to Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy, …

Self-medication is an oft-used term that when explored deeply, lends a better understanding of substance use disorders and defuses stigma. Stigma is born from judgment, limited experience of those with substance use disorders and a lack of understanding what drives substance misuse to being with. Research shows that in the majority of cases, it’s trauma. Trauma creates painful memories and emotions; substances dull that pain. This sets forth a pattern that the substance user gets stuck in: he uses alcohol and/or drugs to medicate his emotions. Then, he becomes habituated and the substance use creates further pain along with more negative emotions, lacking other coping sk…

How to Keep Going When Your Voice Feels Lost You might think that given all the content I produce that I’ve somehow graduated from the chaos of the creative process. That I’ve transcended the doubt and disarray. That I sit down to write and something clear, potent, and original filters through my fingertips like magic. But you would be wrong. Just this month, I had a day of complete hopelessness. Nothing was working. I was trapped by the double-edged sword of being overwhelmed by the process and underwhelmed by the results of everything I poured myself into. I try so hard. I care so much. And when it still doesn’t land the way I want it to? It’s deflating. What most peo…

True Freedom is what allows us to have real love and supportive, healthy relationships. But freedom can be confusing when it’s seen as an external rather than an internal quest. Today’s guest talks about the surprising connection between freedom and commitment, and how you can be free in romantic relationships. True Freedom Creates Real Love: Show Notes Freedom is an important value people talk about in coaching sessions. And it’s not always easy to figure out how to feel free while dating, or in a romantic relationship. Freedom is not just about being able to do what you want, when you want, with who you want. That kind of freedom can erode trust and create disconnecti…

https://www.shopify.com/blog/millennials-buying-behavior By Angelica Frey for Shopify Millennials—individuals born between 1981 and 1996—now make up 29% of the worldwide population. In the United States, they are the largest adult group, totaling more than 74 million people.Given the generation’s size, it makes sense that millennials comprise a large share of purchasing power. Despite having come of age during the 2008 Great Recession, millennials are now in their prime spending years, with 16% of U.S. millennials earning $100,000 or more per year, per YouGov. Understanding millennial shopping habits can help you foster brand loyalty and drive sales. Below, Shopify expl…

Life has a funny way of lining things up. For me, the universe brought extreme joy and deep sorrow almost at the same time. My baby boy, my son, came into the world, full of life and promise. He was a week old, still so new, when the news came from India: my dad, his grandpa, had passed away. I was in the U.S., far away from home, dealing with both the tiredness of a new mom and the quiet ache of sadness. My world felt mixed up with new beginnings and big endings, all at once. They were alive together for exactly 7 days. The last photo my dad saw, sent across continents, was of his new grandson’s first tiny triumph — his first poop. My dad was so happy, thrilled to be a …

During a hotel stay, I noticed a vase on a shelf in the lobby. The big, open foyer relied mainly on wood and light, natural colors. As a contrast, the designers had used ceramic tiling for the decor elements, kept in blue and white — the colors of Bavaria. The vase came in those same colors, but something was off. Upon closer inspection, I realized the vase was broken — but not really. The lid was fine, and it sat exactly where it was supposed to be, but beneath it was not a ceramic container. Instead, it was a transparent, plastic vessel in the shape of a vase, inside of which rested the broken shards of what must once have been the original. “Ha! What a great idea!” I …

It bothers me to a significant degree that, more often than not, the first thing in any list of recommendations for the cures for psychiatric disorders is medication. The prevalence of the most societally persistent psychiatric disorders, such as depression and anxiety, reflects more on the structure of society and how modern life is incompatible with human needs rather than a large proportion of the population suddenly evolving to have significant biochemical imbalances in the past century. A primarily biological interpretation of a depressive disorder misses the point. It is not only a pattern of chemical production in the brain that can be chronic — a philosophy can be…